so i am at work again... and there's nothing to do cuz everyone's watching the laker game. i officially moved out last nite and spent the night at karen's. haha i feel so bad cuz karen and roy have been helping me move and i have SOOO much stinkin stuff... and everything's all bulky and heavy too... ahahaha i'm surprised roy hasn't had a hernia or something with all the crap he's had to carry for me. =T mi yan roy... hehe. but yeah... man~ so everyday i've been bummin around... i haven't done anything productive all week. it feels weird. hahaha it's funny cuz me and roy keep trying to watch ocean's eleven on karen's playstation but we keep falling asleep during it. the first night we tried we fell asleep thirty minutes into it, like right when george clooney was introducing the plan to everyone and last night, i have no idea when i fell asleep... i think it was about 15 minutes from that point... like i remember i was like ooh~ i can close my eyes and listen and at one point i opened my eyes and saw julie roberts and then i closed my eyes again... and then i woke up at like 9 to hear karen and roy talking and karen frantically getting ready to go to class. hahaha. eww. i feel like such a bum =T

i'm at work right now and i was pretty dang bored so i was reading other people's blogs, realizing that many people don't update... ie. roy, who used to update fervently hasn't done so since sunday... *gasp* hehe. that's when i realized that i should update mine... even though not much has happened or anything.

so my 36 hour trip at home was quite fun cuz i got to see my parents =] the drive up by myself wasn't too bad either cept for the times i kept dozing off... but even then that was oki cuz i had sy to call who was driving home at the same time i was driving up to cal. we were gonna meet up together to grab lunch but we didn't know the exits too well so we ended up driving past each other... haha i actually saw her across the freeway driving by me... i was talking to her on the phone and i saw her and started yelling incomprehensible gibberish in my excitement and then we drove by each other. but it was so sad cuz i'm not gonna see sy all summer cuz she's off frolicking about in japan. lucky poop. anyways... so i drove up and made it in time for potluck which was fun cuz a lot of people were there and there was a lot of good food. then i had to leave to help my sis move out of the dorms and then went back to capri for my old sg sleepover. and then my parents came up the next day and i started packing/moving my sis's stuff and my stuff to capri. and then summer school started on tuesday. i'm taking this legal studies class and it seems pretty interesting cept barrows is nice and warm in the morning so i kept conking out. and then i went to senior reception which was really fun. =] and then kwan, roach, kristy, roy, karen, my sis and i played all night. we were playing spoons and whoever got three outs had to make breakfast for everyone else and course roy naturally was the first one to get out. ahahaha. and then my sis and then kwan. but yeah~ so we had this yummmmy breakfast at karen's cuz roy cooks, and kwan cooks and karen cooks... so i ate very well. =] and naturally i didn't make it to my lecture the following day at 10am. =[ i'm a poop. i can't believe i missed the second day of class. but yeah~ and so that was yesterday and i pretty much farted around, took karen and roy to safeway, packed and moved more junk to capri and then progressed to move my stuff to karen's place cuz i have way too much junk. and today, i met with my future landlord, gave him my deposit, grubbed at alameda, watched most of clueless, am currently at work, and now i must go home and pack the rest of my stuff. aigoooooo. haha side comment: i realize that there's no one really to play with up here right now... everyone pretty much disappeared after reception ended. poop. so i've been seeing a LOT of karen and roy these days... actually every day... which is fine with me cuz i like karen. roy, however, is kinda questionable... especially around 3am when he gets freakin psychotic. hahaha i'm kidding roy... =P

ooh~ it's been a while since i've updated. it's kinda crajee looking back and seeing that almost a week has already gone by... haha i know there's times when i'm like i HAVE to write this in my blog cuz i wanna remember this, and then i forget about it cuz i get caught up in other things, until nice people like roy randomly remind me to update cuz it's been days. life's ironic.

so woohoo~ now that finals are done i can write lots and lots and hopefully remember the good things that have had happened this past week or so. in no particular order:
1. finished the yearbook cd i've been working on forever for work... i didn't think it turned out that great but my supervisor sent out this incredibly nice email thanking us and saying how great the cd was and how we made her first year here so great and how she's gonna cherish memories... so i'm happy =D i was all hating it when i was doing it, but seeing how happy it makes other people makes all the time and crap i dealt with totally worth it... =]
2. finals are done. *sigh* i guess i could say that i'm glad they're over but already knowing beforehand that i took all my finals without my full intellectual capabilities and the fact that i could have done better in them is kind of discouraging. i feel like i cheated myself out of doing well in my classes. but who's to blame except myself... *shrug* life goes on...
3. embarassing moment: from all my fellow ca workers, we have one, single white guy called rob. ealier this week i was in the cc working on the yearbook and i was all focused on the computer screen and in the corner of my peripheral vision i see rob sitting across from me, looking at his computer screen and facing me. so i'm like hey rob~ what time do you work till tonite? but i only looked up after i said that... so i look up straight into this random white resident's eyes and the word 'tonite' just kinda fades away and i sat there gawking at this white guy totally not rob. so to cover up i was like 'oh~ i'm not talking to you' and i was all cheery and stuff, which i'm sure made me sound like an even bigger idiot cuz there was no one else i could have possibly been talking to cuz the white guy was alone in a corner and he had a periphery of three empty seats around him. and to make things worse, my co-worker overhears the entire thing and looks at me in utter disgust and is like 'omg jayne... again?' eek. mortified, i ran out of the cc and just stood outside for like 5 min before i regained my composure. *sigh* i need to learn how to differentiate amongst the white people. =/
4. after failing my two finals wed, i was totally bummed and feeling gross cuz i hadn't showered [at which point kristy was proud of me cuz i was no longer a "shower princess"... she likes being dirty... go figure] and eaten since 6am earlier that day. so i didn't really wanna play and watch star wars. but yeah... kristy and roy convinced me to go and now i'm glad i went cuz it was fun again and i got to laugh a lot =] after the movie we ate at denny's where we grubbed and i was reminded yet again of how much fun it is laughing at roy. oh... and now i'm thinking of the monstrosity of roy's eating abilites... =] and then we went to my place and played cards and did tricks like when jeanne did these fortunes on roy and 4 different chickies... most interesting. =P and then everyone left and karen and i watched stepmom, cept i fell asleep for 1.5 hrs of it and woke up just in time to see the end at which point karen and i got all drippy and weepy... that movie is so good =T and then we did some talking which was great cuz i haven't talked to her for a while... =]
5. i went to my work today at haviland for the last time this semester. i really hadn't thought much of it, but when i came in my boss lady bought me this yummy fruit tart thingie cuz it was my last day of work and stuff. and then it kinda hit me... i've been working here for an entire year now, and i've gotten pretty attached to my bosses and i got kinda sad cuz i won't see them like everyday during the summer... =[
6. now i'm at home sweet home. =] i love it here... and it was fun talking to my parents. my mom and i were on her bed poking jer-jer together and discussing how cute he is. hehe. too bad i didn't get to really talk to her yet cuz the majority of the night was spent talking to both my parents about what i should for housing this summer... eesh.
7. i had this really fun convo online with sy tonite... it was weird, cuz when i was about to leave for the airport she was like 'whoa... this the last time i'm prob gonna see you as my roomie and the last time i'm gonna see you all summer'. =[ man~ i didn't even think about it like that and it made me so sad cuz i was late and was rushing to pack, so i couldn't even enjoy my last moments with her. =[ but we had this random convo online and talking to her made me realize that sy is probably one of the few people i can be completely open with... gosh she can be a punk sometimes but overall she's pretty dang awesome. =D

Kpxgrlx012 (12:23:55 AM): ooh~ and u have the whole place to urself
Kpxgrlx012 (12:23:59 AM): that must be totally nice
sKitZzLe16 (12:24:01 AM): yah
sKitZzLe16 (12:24:02 AM): it's ok
sKitZzLe16 (12:24:06 AM): but when i need to vent
sKitZzLe16 (12:24:09 AM): no one here to vent to
Kpxgrlx012 (12:24:13 AM): awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Kpxgrlx012 (12:24:15 AM): I AM HERE!
sKitZzLe16 (12:24:24 AM): your so not fun venting to online
sKitZzLe16 (12:24:27 AM): much better in person
sKitZzLe16 (12:24:31 AM): =D
sKitZzLe16 (12:24:32 AM): haha
sKitZzLe16 (12:24:39 AM): that was me missing you for like a second
sKitZzLe16 (12:24:43 AM): then i got over it =D

i've slept a total of 1.5 hours since i woke up on tuesday, the 21st, at noon. that's 61.5 hours i've been awake. time to sleep. 99.

my mom just woke up for seh byuk gi do. her strength is simply amazing.

oh WOW... today was majorly fun today. =] i just came back from playing with roy, kristy, sewon, karen, lil jenny, and margaret... incredibly fun cuz we went to treasure island at 4 and then sang praise songs and then ate at ihop's. yah~ it was well worth it cuz i rarely get to spend time with margaret... even though she's my prayer partner =/ and i got to spend even more time with the other people too...so it was fun cramming 7 of us into sewon's lil corolla and just taking off... i think everyone was sick of the library and studying so it was fun how we just got up and left all randomly like that... =]

so yeah~ at first we went to treasure island and it was so incredibly beautiful looking at the bay bridge and the city skyline. too bad it was so windy that my eyes were blown shut half the time but what i did see was seriously awesome... it took my breath away. so then we wandered around on private property trying to get to the best possible location to see the bridge, all the while taking massive amounts of pictures. and then we ended up at the treasure island naval base and roy busted out his guitar and we sang for a while until his poor fingers were purple-blue. =T bul ssang han roy. we always use and abuse him. but yeah~ by this time the sun rose and it was soooooo beautiful, the sun streaming in through the clouds and reflecting off the water and stuff... i don't know. and instead of going home sewon came up with the genius idea of eating breakfast at ihop, so we went into the city. so that was fun too cuz everyone was grubbing cept me cuz i was gonna have breakfast with my roomies and my ex-romie michelle. we were all laughing and just talking and i think the highlight was definitely watching roy. like all of a sudden he got FREAKIN weird and psychotic. ahaha he's hilarious... i think it was cuz of delirium or mebbe the fact that he thought his omelette was spiked, but he was doing crazy things like talking to his omelette saying "ooh i hate you... i'm gonna eat you" and other ramblings like that. it was almost like he had a good buzz going on cuz he was all laughing and his eyes were all squinty and he was turning red. =] although i was slightly repulsed by his ugliness... the whole thing was quite fun and enjoyable. ahahaha. jk roy. you could never repulse me. =D and afterwards on the way home we were telling jokes and here's one i thought was FREAKIN hilarious: What do you call a Mexican who is baptized? *Bean Dip!* AHAHAHAHHAA LOL =D ... actually hmm~ now that i rewrite it, it's not that funny. mebbe it was the way it was said. =T

but anyways... i loved this morning. thanks guys for the laughs and the good memories. fo sho we gotta do this again like after finals. but i think the memorable part of it was cuz we did this during finals, while everyone was being stressed and going crazy. makes the time we spend together more worthwhile i think. =] study hard play hard. i think that was the general concensus in the car. can't wait for another escapade... next time though, i think we should spend some time talking and sharing more... that way~ we can really get to know each other better. =T hehe. i'm already envisioning where/what we'll do next... hehe

k... i gg showa now so that i can eat breakfast with my roomies. yum yum~ i am excited. =D

btw~ i do NOT hate roy and i am NOT cranky in the morning... really... come on now... don't hate =P

.:roy's ability to play the guitar is amazing... i get truly blessed whenever i hear him play. God has graced him with some awesome skills:.

it is amazing how much hair i shed in the shower... especially when i get stressed out. it's kinda gross looking at that huge dense clump of hair.

it's also amazing how incredibly screwed i am, and how i am still on page 4 out of 26 in memorizing for my ling final... >:[

*sigh* nah molla.

updating really quickly...

i'm so stressed right now i don't know what to do... it's the point where your tummy is all tight and your heart beats all fast and you get shaky and stuff... man~ this madness has to end soon... aigoo. =[ but anyways~ off i go to denny's again to cram for ling... eek.

here's some stuff i've been thinking about: time goes by way too quickly so i need to make the most of each situation. there are so many people that i still don't know that i want to get to know better or people that i've just recently started talking to. i gotta live life more to its full potential and without regret. and most importantly, everything is done in accordance to God's will so i need to live by faith. =T

k roy... i updated. hope you get some rest. =]

hello bloggie thingie of mine... i don't even know why i'm updating right now when i'm half asleep and freaking tired. or i should be doing my paper or studying for my finals instead... *sigh* so today... i spent 11.5 hours at the unit 3 cc working on this yearbook cd that i'm in charge of. oops... 10.5 cuz for an hour i stepped out and got jack in the crack with sewon, kristy, eugenius, and danny. that was exciting cuz i got to see eugene's thigh. =P haha that sounds raunchetta but oh wells. yeah... so the entire day was spent on that. and the sad thing is that there's so much more left... i think we're only half-way done or so. however... i did learn some html and the page i made looks quite spiffy so that serves little compensation for the entire day...

and yesterday was the end of the year ficb picnic.oh dang, that feels like forever ago. but yeah~ it was pretty fun i guess cept i drank soda and was gassy for the rest of the night. i think the highlight was just getting out of berkeley for a while... like i know when we were driving to the reservoir the road was so nice and curvy and there were trees and stuff... i dunno. i just remember that it was really nice and i felt like we were going to this place far far away from everything. it was a lovely feeling. and then that night i was over at kristy and sewon's studying which totally ended up not happening. it was me, roy, karen, kristy, and sewon and from 3 to about 630 in the morning we were just playing and singing and dancing and etc. wow. i think i got a good ten minutes of studying done the entire night. but yeah... it was cool cuz sewon was like hey toy~ play the guitar and let's sing... and we ended up doing that for a little more than an hour or so. but it was weird... cuz everyone was singing except me. and i don't know really why i wasn't... but i know that i was feeling all these different emotions at that time, so i suppose that in some way was why i didn't. so while roy and etc were singing and praising... i was sitting there totally blown away by how incredibly talented each karen, roy, sewon, and kristy are. they each have such beautiful voices and what i'm trying to say isn't about how well they can sing or not... but i was just reminded of how God has given them such great gifts in each of their lives. and it just made me wonder... it was so encouraging listening to them and it was amazing what i felt that night... and i was wondering if that would ever happen to me... like what possible talent i possess that would be able to show God's love to everyone else...? i'm not saying singing/playing guitar well are the only qualities that roy, karen, sewon, and kristy possess either... i can see so many strengths in each of them and i felt so blessed to just sit there and listen... anyways, i dunno if this is even making sense. so i think i'll shut up now before i look like a bigger dummy.

good nite.

AUGGGGGGGGGGGH i freakin spent like 30 min on this particular blog and it just got erased. ARGGGGGH talk about discouraging. but i'm gonna try and recap as much as possible cuz i had a lot to say.

last night i went to cache creek with sy and ylee. we left at like midnight and came back around 6am this morning. it was pretty crajee and i'm totally feeling the consequences of it today. but no regrets cuz i needed to get out berkeley and just leave for a while. and it was cool cuz me sy and ylee were talking on the way to cache creek and i got to see another glimpse of the enigmatic life of ylee. he's a very interesting fellow with all sorts of thought-provoking questions that make you really think. we spent a while talking about relationships and it was interesting cuz i saw the "non-Christian" view on dating.

i dunno why but i'm pretty much hating life these days. not to be mean and sadistic and all... but it makes me feel better to know that i'm not alone in feeling like this. it's kinda comforting to know that i'm not the only one in the world sitting at home, just hating life and school. i had lunch with judy and karen today and they were saying how ironic it was cuz last night they were also at home thinking how much they're sick of everything too. and roy, who wishes that Jesus would come, doesn't seem to be enjoying life very much either. *sigh* i wish we could have all collectively gone somewhere and hated life together. that might have been fun. but yeah, i need to find a place where i can go to whenever i feel like crap and need to vent or think or clear my head. i wanna check out lawrence hall someday soon. sy and ylee said that the view there is awesome... and it's a place where you can just go to sit, look, and think. ooh... if/when i get a car i can't to just drive all over the world. i miss driving so incredibly much. mmm... i'm getting back some good memories. =T but yeah... until then, i need something to keep me going for the next couple weeks. *sigh* so if you think of something... let me know.

i did something very unlike-me today. i dunno really how to explain the feeling except it was like that tense/anxious feeling you get when you're scared about something, and that kinda relieved feeling when you've finally confronted what you were scared about. =T hahaha and what's kinda sad is that although i feel like this is a quasi big deal, i know that to everyone else it's very minute. =T but oh wells. i'm proud of me. *pat pat* on the back for me. but what i can't figure out is the reasoning behind my actions. i can't figure out if what i did was because i don't care anymore or if it was because i care too much. ... but i think i'll think about that later.

i'm pooped. i wanna sleep. so i will. good nite.

ugh. these next couple of weeks are going to be hell. so ever since i came back from work today, i've been sitting on my (_I_) in front of the computer wasting time cuz i don't wanna do anything. i kno that instead of freakin wasting time by complaining about everything i have to do, i should just do it, but right now, i just have no idea where to start cuz i feel way too bombarded by everything. i wish i could sleep forever and wake up to find that everything has resolved itself and i don't have to think about anything.

arggggggggggggggh. aiite forget this. i gotta get out of berkeley. i'm going crajee. ;lsdfk;safjs;adlfkjasdfkljasldf;kjsdf

i've been feeling stressed these past few days. which i know i do all the time, but i think more so than usual. i just have so much on my mind and things i gotta figure out. i've been getting that overwhelmed feeling again... that feeling where you're just swamped with so many different things to do and you aren't acheiving anything so you kinda just give up and float around in your own nastiness and problems. there's just so many things i gotta figure out... like about moving out, what classes to take, work, awana/children's ministry, my future, my goals, my regrets... ugh. i really really wish i could go home right about now... =[

arggggh. how annoying. i tried to post my initial blog and it didn't work. =[ but anyways, it's actually been a while since i've last written in here and i've actually forgotten about it cuz of everything i had to do. but thanks roy for reminding me so eloquently that i should update:

b o y 52: update your blog!!
b o y 52: lazy (__|__)!

ahahahha you crack me up. =D
i had more to say but now that it's erased i guess i'm not in the mood to rewrite everything again. *yawn* i've been functioning off of about 3-4 hours of sleep since last wednesday so my brain is pretty mushy right now... so to my one avid reader i will update with something interesting tomorrow. =T and i wanted to apologize for last night: i guess i thought what i was doing was right, but now i'm thinking that mebbe it wasn't. sorry for that. eek. i am confused. so i sleep. good nite.