Thunder, lightning, and lots of rain.


What I wouldn't give to be at the beach right now...

1. I won medium french fries from Jack in the Box. As one leading a life riddled with irony and hard-pressed luck, this is pretty darn impressive.

2. Sewon, Kristy, and I saw this huge rainbow in the sky walking from the Walgreens parking lot to church.

3. I saw Kwansoo Jun for the very first time on campus. It has been 3.67 years.

4. Janet made a very keen observation on a particular person's recent wardrobe change.

5. These "study sessions" with John are becoming increasingly very unproductive.

6. I was sad because it was extremely windy while coming home right now. But then in the midst of all that wind, it started to RAIN.

Breakfast at Rick and Ann's. Roses. Strawberry muffins. A really good onion bagel with strawberry jam and cream cheese.

Small group night recap: Dinner at the DC. Janet's place: Flan, banana pudding, chicken salad, ritz air crisps, celery and peanut butter. "An island of flan surrounded by a sea of caramel." Ding: Janet-bag and Sula-pus, Moon needing to win, "Pusi." The Dirty Mind game, and Moon thinking that it was appropriate to play it during SGN. Scattergories. Bridget Jone's Diary. Berkeley Iceland. Janet, Alice, Julie playing the trivia game where the point of the game is to make the score go up. Kwansoo's nice and slow Christian music. Inner-thigh exercises on the ice. Ellen, Moon, and me being the only three girls left.

The day after it rains is always the best. The North Reading Room. Red tortilla chips. A humiliating berating for taking too much salsa and too many chips. Scooby-Doo Pop Tarts. Good news, especially nowadays, is always something to be thankful for.


The view from my new and secret place. Beautiful, isn't it? =]

Quote of the day: "He's not clever. Only stupid things come out of his mouth."


"Studying" with John. Blackjack talk. Tent-sized umbrellas. A new definition for being "useless." John's huge golf-sized umbrella and the rain pouring and pouring, just for me. =]


"Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet." -Roger Miller.

More rain quotes: =D

"I am sure it is a great mistake always to know enough to go in when it rains. One may keep snug and dry by such knowledge, but one misses a world of loveliness." -Adeline Knapp.

"I believe in rain though there are no clouds in the sky." -Author Unknown.

"Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain." -Author Unknown.


"I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again.

Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face.

Dancin' in the rain
I'm happy again.
I'm singin' and dancin' in the rain."
-Gene Kelly, Singin' in the Rain.


=]

"True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable." -Dave Tyson Gentry.

"Court blocks Cooper's execution
Appeals panel grants a stay -- murder evidence to be tested"
[click and read]


"For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! ... For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds..." -2 Corinthians 7:11, 10:4.

=]

How to ascertain the will of God:

"I seek at the beginning to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter.

Nine-tenths of the trouble with people is just here. Nine-tenths of the difficulties are overcome when our hearts are ready to do the Lord's will, whatever it may be. When one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what His will is." -George Muller.

An incredibly starry night.

Praying now that it won't dissolve...

"God is more interested in making us what He wants us to be than giving us what we think we ought to have. "


"Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines." -Satchel Paige.

Discussing penmanship and drawing caricatures. Witnessing a random act of kindness. The Life of David Gale. Mr. Luther Vandross.

"so the clouds asked me what troubled my heart...

and the moon observed that my dream had dissipated...

and the stars screamed at me that peace shall come...

and so i slowly turned to them and quietly whispered... nevermore..."

"Just let me say how much I love You
Let me speak of Your mercy and grace
Just let me live in a shadow of Your beauty
Let me see You face to face

And the earth will shake as Your Word goes forth
And the heavens will tremble and fall
But let me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Just let me hear Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your spirit's flame

Let me find You in the desert
Till this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrendered
To You my Lord and Friend

So let me say how much I love You
With all my heart I long for You
For I am caught in this passion of knowing
This endless love I've found in You

And the depth of grace, the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God
Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend."

-"Just Let Me Say" Hillsongs.

"When we take a bigger view of things, God will give us more grace and love for others. We'll find ourselves responding to the needs and to the goodness; we'll find ourselves angered by the injustice to others." -Rich Mullins, Remember to Forget Yourself.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." -1 Corinthians 13:13.

"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving." -Mother Teresa.

I've been thinking lately about what true love must really entail and if I am capable of such a love.

...

And what is it about boys trying so hard with baby's breath, tissue paper, and red carnations that makes them so endearing?

"How else but through a broken heart may Lord Christ enter in?" -Oscar Wilde.

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." -1 John 4:16.


"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant." -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I was rebuked tonight in a way that I could have never imagined.


"This however is just one side of the story, and now I have opened my eyes and my heart to the truth, and because I have now done this I must now admit as well as acknowledge that despite all of these negative things, I am a very blessed man." -Kevin Cooper, "I Now Acknowledge."


How easily and willingly we forget...

"What? You don't think Andy's cute? Good-looking? Pretty? Handsome?"

"Umm, I think he looks like he's... aging."

"What a wonderful thing when you are so caught up in a moment when you are so lost in an experience that you forget to straighten your tie or to comb your hair. Why esteem yourself? Forget yourself. You'll have a lot more fun."
-Rich Mullins

Even though I can't change the world, I can always change my world.

Sometimes it's too difficult to encapsulate everything that you feel about a particular moment and to try to articulate that feeling into words. And during those times, I believe that it's better to just feel and bask in the sheer existence of the moment.


"The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it." -Carl Jung.

10 things to be happy about:

1. A walk at twilight.
2. Happy, rumbling furnaces.
3. Watching a heated card game.
4. Starting a brand-new book.
5. Hiking a steep trail.
6. Warm pockets for cold hands.
7. Appreciating music.
8. Cheering yourself up.
9. Comfortable new boots.
10. Postcards from foreign lands.

After much deliberation, I finally found the perfect location for my fat guy picture.

Where else would be more appropriate than on the refrigerator door?


Small group leader's retreat. Learning to use my strengths and to do all that I can with what I have control over.

A passport today for the first time ever. Never having so much stuff in the car before. A quick ride with some good company. =]

Gene Kelly is amazing. How can one movie make you feel so happy inside?

A delicious brunch. A family event. Coffee Lovers' from Coldstones. A burst of laughter from the mother at the "Good, God" comment.

I guess I was proven wrong tonight. =]

"and why is your typing so unlike the way you talk? its like you're an englishperson writing in your journals in the 1800s about your experience with the native peoples."

Hahaha.

...

I believe that karma has led me to make my decision in pursuing my long-neglected interest in basketball. Here are my notes from tonight's game:

The Lakers always lose whenever I watch one of their games. I like Derek Fisher and his hairband. Luke Walton looks like a curly-haired Ben Affleck and although he tries very hard, he can't shoot very well. Mike Bibby looks like Dr. Evil's Mini-me. The Sacramento Kings, and not the Lakers, are #1 in the Pacific chunk of the national conference.

I also cannot wait to finally get my long-awaited foam hands. =]

Quality time spent with the mother over Dae Jang Kum. Maruki 98 cents store. Tuxie sprawling his body over ours. =]

Being called "Butterball" without the implication of being a fat piece of lard. "Bbah dah ball". A monkey-face, covered by go-goo-mah ash.

The male Jang Kum who cooks dinner for his family. =D I love my dad's throwing together all the leftovers and dousing it with cham gee rum and calling it delicious cuisine.

Some old faces at OMC: Arem, James, William, Paul. Beloved Thai BBQ: L2, Chicken pad see-ew, Pad Thai. The hunt for ice cream near the Burbank AMC theaters. In America. Eli's sexy 'do.


"Oh gaze of love so melt my pride
That I may in Your house but kneel
And in my brokenness to cry
Spring worship unto Thee."
-Hymn, Jars of Clay.

"Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings." -William Arthur Ward.

There were only a couple of things that I wished for while I was here in New York, and both of them came true.


Here's one of them:

Esther and I were coming out of Century 21 when we got caught in a little snow flurry. =D

Finding out that I can do Legal Studies 195. Wasting two hours talking with Karen about Roy. Praying that I will never be as susceptible to the affections of a guy. Buying two sweaters for $25. Ugly thermal underwear.

Young Nak EM service on who we are. Roly-poly Byung-chan. Nancy and her sister not wanting to attend service. Carnitas. 1 bite rice, 1 bite meat. Sewon and I's uselessness. Hannah and Scott. Crepes at Farmer's Market. Dispelling ideals about New York. Scott's horrible asking to take a picture. Whipped cream. Forgettting Scott's sn: spped? scoot? Sweating when arriving to LA. Chilling at Crate and Barrel. Andre's Restaurant. Free drinks and free garlic bread. Spaghetti and veggie lasagna. Cafeteria style. Cranky irritable girls from traffic and the cold. "Can we get out of here? There's so many f*n weird people here!"-Jeniffer. 8 girls in Linda's Civic. Hannah's gum. Missing the 5 N and going back home. Driving back around and going to Burbank. Odd reactions. Guy thongs. Andy and Roy rolling around in bed. Calvin and Hobbes!!! Getting smacked in the face repeatedly by Roy. Halcyon.

Drive through Downey on Firestone Blvd. Unexpected conversation at Costco. Weird smiles. House-cleaning.

LA and old friends. ��� turned into Sool-dogg. Spending half an hour deciding what to eat, only to return to Curry Factory. Hamburger steak and chicken �. Little ����. Cafe Home and the ����. Paying $10 for ���� to sing 2 songs. New York and Chicago talk and of all the good food there. Plans to meet again tomorrow. Sticker and camera touristy pictures. R. Kelly on the way home.

Thankfulness for some great times.

Grand Lux Cafe. Jo's generous attempt. Karen's unwanted open-faced curry chicken salad sandwich. Cafe Home and ���� ���, Ŀ�� �Ϻ��, and �v���. Old memories. Connect Four. Chinese checkers with Kristy, the advanced player. Linda and my preoccupation with the food. Friendly chat with Mona. Finding the perfect card. Playing with the family.

A rainy Christmas. Remembering Christ's unconditional love for us.

ū����, �ƺ�, and me at �η��� with the ���� and the �����. A boy friend nicknamed ���� who I crushed on. "�׷��� ����� ��f �߻��� ���ھ�."

Grinning foolishly at happy scenes in a movie. I want to frolick at the beach again.

I can look at the ocean forever.

Decorated houses. Driving with the windows open and the heater on. The rain.

A 4.5 hour talk. "Hey, I like punching you." Pinching, tickling, scratching, punching, prodding, and best of all, biting. The 5th wheel and getting out. Being truly happy.

Homemade cards. A very Merry Christmas. =]

Evaluting different things. The true meaning of Christmas. Making dinner for the family. Ice cream. "100 years" by Five for Fighting.

One of the quickest Costco trips ever. Not wanting to pack. Being the only person to burn mandoo. The Last Samurai. A plethora of movie candy. EZ Stop Deli's tuna sandwich. Being more emotional than before. Awkward gift-giving under the clever pretense of a vacuum. Why must things always be so awkward with Kwansoo?

Two hours of sleep. Fremont with Andy and Kwansoo. The horrible and not subtle way. Bacchus. Tri-City. Not being articulate in my descriptions and pointing to ambiguous objects under the impression that people can read my mind. Choosing things based on their aesthetics rather than level of comfort. Andy and Kwansoo like being gay lovers dressed alike and romping around the store together. Outback Steakhouse being a bust. Hometown Buffet. Awkward prayers. =[ Discussion of Chomp and perfecting the art of over-eating. Coughing and choking on food. Needing to survey the food before consumption. A boy's method is to get only one plate at a time. Over-chattiness. Winged Migration. A nap in Kwansoo's car. Lord of the Rings 3. Jenny getting too scared easily. Obnoxious comments made by Frank and Kwansoo the entire movie. Cheesy lines that made me cringe and groan. Justin McRoberts' Untitled CD. An unexpected but much appreciated DVD player. No more caffeine for a long time.

At Costco:

Nice man: Do you only have that? [pointing at my chest]
Me: What?
Nice man: Do you want to go in front of me?
Me: Huh?
Nice man: Is that all you're going to buy?
Me: Yes.
Nice man: Well, you can go ahead of me then.
Me: Really?
Nice man to woman behind me: She only has one thing. That's incredible.
Nice man to cashier woman: Can you believe it? Look at her. She's only buying one thing.
Cashier woman: Haha.
Nice man: There should be an award for this. She should be "Customer of the Month." Who goes to Costco and comes out with one thing? How did she bypass everything else?
Cashier woman: Well, maybe next time.
Me: Yes, there's always next time. Haha. Thank you. Good-bye.
Nice man: Good-bye!


At Ikea:

Little boy who looks like the little boy from Love Actually: "Mommy, what about Pepsi?"
Mommy: "That's a soda. And those are yucky."
Mommy to Grandma: "Can you take him to get some water?"

2 minutes later:
The little boy, clutching an Aquafina water bottle to his chest, and beaming while literally skipping with glee.


... Simple pleasures. =]

preppykc: hahah sewon is so your biotch!!!
preppykc: you should marry her

bCxaNgeL143: breathe in deep
bCxaNgeL143: and count ur blessings
bCxaNgeL143: and not ur curses
bCxaNgeL143: :-)

A cute and encouraging e-card from Janet. LOCKY.

"Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away

Once I get you up there where the air is rarified
We'll just glide, starry-eyed
Once I get you up there I'll be holding you so near
You may hear angels cheer 'cause we're together

Weather-wise it's such a lovely day
You just say the words and we'll beat the birds
Down to Acapulco Bay
It's perfect for a flying honeymoon, they say
Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly
Pack up, let's fly away!!"

How great is Frank Sinatra? =]

3-5am Fat Guy feast: Cream cheese walnut rolls, stale soybean crisps, Ƣ�� ����, Sapporo Ichiban ���, ¥¯��� ��ġ, ��ġ��, and H�agen-Dazs Mocha Almond Fudge.

Throwing your head all the way back and laughing until the muscles on the side of your body start to cramp up and hurt.

This is the life. =]

"And how's my favorite CA doing today?"
"Hi John. Not so great, actually. But wow. Thanks for asking."

Heifer International My namesake. =]

Comfort activity: Listening to Michael Bubl� and baking English toffee bit cookies.

Determination to do what's right.


... And suddenly, everything is a tiny bit clearer.

Bay Street with Nancy, Fred, Kenneth, and Sewon. No more Rubio's for a while. My secret santa. =] Rolling around and not studying. Justin McRoberts. The storm. =] Dae Jang Kum: rather wanting to get hit 100 times. Mandoo.

Sushi House with Nancy. =] Walking in the rain. Chardonnay with Roy. Nancy's Christmas party. 3 shots plus/minus one. Jajnet taking pictures forever. Talking with Roy and finding that Andy and Kwansoo left me. Promise of more future talks. To rainy days. 25 to 21. Kwansoo saying that I reek of alcohol. =[ A random Safeway trip. I don't understand Andy Chon. One cup of water and promising to return it before winter break. An emotional night. What have I done wrong now??

snobunnynk (4:15:06 AM): dont GO to capri
snobunnynk (4:15:11 AM): thye're like vampires

A stunning new discovery: Every car has what I've coined the "engine thermostat." It informs the driver of the temperature of the car's engine. For example, on a cold night such as this, the "engine thermostat" is under the C(old), indicating that the engine has yet to be heated. However, while the driver proceeds to drive, the "engine thermostat" reaches somewhere in between the C(old) and the H(ot) letters, thus indicating that the engine has heated up to that level.


Fascinating.

Songs #10 and #11. Frozen hands and nose. Puckered and wrinkled mouths. Relishing fun email exchanges. Being truly fat and overeating. The absurd and inconceivable idea of having ninnies as friends. Osmosis and potatoes. Fond memories of good times. "Concomitant."


"If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God."

Thanks Jacob Oppa. =]

A productive day at work only to find that it wont work on my computer. Shopping for snowboarding shoes. Talk about Roy with Karen. Care packages and hugs. The rain. =] More shopping online. $9.50 on a movie.

�Think about the kids you used to know, who would be around your age now had they survived the car accident, shooting, or illness.... pretty big number, huh.�

More bloated a face after eating then sleeping or from crying? Dessert first. Fuddruckers. Painting at work. 9:30pm-9:30am. Kristy's help. Manly red and green.

Smiley Alice during Allelu. Drawing faces with Heidi. Taking a nap in nursery. SF with Julie and Sewon. A nice day. Caffeine. A tired but fulfilling day. Elephants and Carebears. Sitting in front of Christmas trees. Eye cream. Hand lotion for us. The perfect card. Christmas trees and wreaths. Having the runs. 1st fish taco. Elf again. Loud obnoxious laughter, and "Oh Lord." Crying the second time around. Being happy. Spending 15 min figuring out how to make a box.

Over-sleeping. Walking in the rain, getting drenched, and loving every moment. A hot shower. Steaks, instant potatoes, mandarin dressing. Goody bag care packages. 100% red zone. Cd keys. No burner. Chewing on a guy's jaj. Potential beef. Nicknames: Putty and Stuck on you.

The Last Samurai. Forgetting to breathe and wipe away tears. Beautiful landscape. Simple beauty. Pastor Ting as Katsumato. Adorable little boys. Honor. Compassion.

"Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime;
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone;
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness."

-Reinhold Niebuhr.

Song #8. An overly generous evaluation. Failed attempt to celebrate due to funky stomach problems. Walking in the rain with Andy under the umbrella. Tricky door. $10 ASUC gift certificate. Cultured guys vs. cultured girls. A three hour long grammar project. A clenched jaw, burning throat, and repressed tears. A hurting sadness. Free samples. Fred's wasted free popcorn. Gothika. Useless upper righthand corner. Fred flinching and spazzing. Bitten left cheek. Snow gently falling on an upturned face. Movies, movies, movies. Starting my own compilation.

Becoming more tolerable? I think not.


Let it rain forever.

Missing another opportunity. Henry's. Connection with girls: Pachabel-Canon in D Major. Consensus with Alex: calamari and quesadillas. Fateful experience with Alex. Last rendezvous with John. Extra avocados and a special touch. NoDoz is a dear friend. Confusing questions. Welcome addition of song #7. A twenty-email correspondence. Bad security man. An incredibly foggy walk home.

bCxaNgeL143: oooh!
bCxaNgeL143: let's run marathon friday
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: what the hell
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: what marathon
bCxaNgeL143: video
bCxaNgeL143: u freak
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: OH
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: ahahaha
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: i was gonna say
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: im gg kill you
bCxaNgeL143: i can't believe u actually thought MARATHON
bCxaNgeL143: hahahahahaha
bCxaNgeL143: yea u need sleep
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: YEAH
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: i FREAKED
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: hahaha
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: i got so sad
bCxaNgeL143: hahahaha
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: cuz i figured it was for some cause
bCxaNgeL143: HAHAHAHA
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: =[
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: shut ip
bCxaNgeL143: at least u have a conscience
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: ahahaha
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: i was tthinking if it'd be possible for me to make up an excuse tho
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: luckily before i came to that decision
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: you said it was a video marathon
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: =]
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: so phew
bCxaNgeL143: first of all
bCxaNgeL143: i would never run a marathon
bCxaNgeL143: oh heck no
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: hahahaha
bCxaNgeL143: and the day YOU say yes to a marathon, i'll kiss u
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
jAhNdEe aT wOrK: it can happen!!!
bCxaNgeL143: k...my kiss can happen too!!

The beauty of fall leaves. Driving aimlessly, just gazing.

A tacky Christmas tree. Magic bowling shoes. The saying-words-backwards game.

The unrequited love interest of a particular person. Sudden pangs. Second chances. Having your reaction watched by the one giving you the flowers.


A walk in the rain. It's been a while. =]

Sunday worship at DFC. The lamp and the steps. Black grass. Cal State Long Beach. Mr. Handsome. The 99 cents store and imitation strawberry sundaes. Knockoffs. My moo oven mitt. $2.99 Big Mac value meal. Fruit N Freeze strawberries and cream. 44psi tires. Being John Malkovich. "And that was episode 1..." Masculinity defined by cars and driving. Future breast feeding circles. Merced. The rain. Funny, quirky, adorable fathers. What are our kids going to be like and where are we going to be next year?

Whatever goes, goes.

Karen's 21st birthday party. 45 minutes in a few hours. The Grove with Kwansoo, Andy and Karen. Gawking at Finding Nemo. The Christmas tree and the lights. The water show. Trying to get tickets validated. Sitting around looking at each other. Karen getting annoyed. Dduk bo sam. Eating more than Andy and Kwansoo. Making an idiot of myself about mushrooms. Jane and I asking for so much. Jane's accident. Bonaventure and the moving floor. Accepting Roy's money. Uncomfortable wedged between Andy and Roy. Getting pictures shot by the paparrazzi. Being the butt end of the joke again. Ugly pictures. A virgin Pink Flamingo. Grauman's Chinese Theater. Handprints with Sean Connery and Denzel Washington. Talking with Esther about the classic movies we haven't seen. Walking around at night. Danny's jacket. Roy's reckless driving.

Brea Promenade with Kwansoo, Roy, and Karen. To not be so stupid when liking someone. Roy slipping up on Sea World and Karen. Love Actually. The way Keira Knightley as the bride looked. Love is truly amazing. Bj's and being excited about pizookies. Legally Blond 2. Being introduced as Karen's best friend. The parents. Calling Jacob Shin and wishing him a happy birthday. The drive home. Yet another cheesecake.

Starting Dae Jang Kum. Absolutely no cranberries anywhere. 40 people. X-Men 2. Pumpkin cheesecake. Father of the Bride. Harry McCormick, Jr. v. Harry Connick, Jr.

Waking up at 2pm and frantically packing, only to leave 1.5 hours later. An interesting talk with Kwansoo. Josh Groban. Talk of testes, penises, and breasts. Two ice cream cones for $1.59. A long drive. A box of pears. Driving through OC and familiarizing myself with home again. Getting sick. Random thoughts.

"The turkey?" Running around frantically. The trees at Safeway. Frantic baking. Miscommunication with Sewon. Thanksgiving fellowship with Eugene and Sewon's small groups. Esther the CA roll Nazi. The funky sweet yam casserole. Yummy pumpkin cheesecake. Lime sherbet. Movie charades: great songs, Adaptation, Fargo, Andy's excitement over someone. Being an unbiased moderator. Korean taboo: Pinocchio, flaccid, hickey: "mohk eh suh jjook jjook bba lah muhk ee nun guh" "ee dong mool eun ha yan sek gwah heu geen sek ee yah." Ghetto Taboo: cornucopia, and Mary Sunshine. Freaking projectile and mechanism. Mafia: lasting two rounds in a game. The boringest game of Mafia ever.

Family at Thanksgiving. Having less members with us when we're older. Paul farting on Lori. Outdoor weddings like in Father of the Bride. Fresh falling snow and fall autumn leaves. Some movie with an overarching arch. Mentally wanting a girlfriend. Being cultured. The Brothers Karamazov. Boxers v. Briefs. No Fear, pogs, and other childhood memories.

Boston Market with Sewon and Eugene. Safeway's ribs. Papyrus. EAP. Jonga-Jib with Kwansoo, Karen, and Carroll. Never getting really mad. No ice cream. Ah My Goddess! Andy's testimony. Sushico and fried green tea ice cream. Ugly Korean writing. Praise songs. Making up songs for individuals. Basketball players' names. New beef and potatoes. Eugene getting annoyed and leaving. Future plans.

The Mighty Ducks. King Yen. Kill Bill. Black Toilets and low doors. Creepy, sinister music that made everything feel like a dream. Lowered movie screen. The freezing cold. Weird fortunes.

Running into Debbie at Costco. Agitated mood. Taco Bell Bean and Cheese Burrito. Falling asleep girls. Restless. Ofoto. Talk with Kwansoo.

La Burrita Northside with chunky salsa, eaten on plates, and unlimited chips. One red chip. Dramatic girls. Not talking about Andy behind his back. How to respond in a certain situation. No more Susanna. Rowdy rowdy kids. "What kind of Chinese are you?" Spaghetti sauce out of dirty water. Lila thinking I was clueless. Why learn to park when there's always valet? Talking of food on the way there. Chasing Papi. More pictures and movies. The beautiful moon: a low crescent in the sky with hazy fog surrounding it.

Emotional tears. Fruit salsa with chips. No motivation. Walking into a room filled with the smell of flowers. I can be nice and appreciative. Yummy watermelon. Missing my family dreadfully. Being spineless. Two new songs. A bum arm and cramps.

One of the best days of my life. Feeling truly truly happy and at peace. Bawling like a baby. Flowers. =] Sour Patch Kids from Kwansoo. ?? and sukiyaki with Kristy. Kahlua cake. Pictures from Carroll. Overwhelmed by everyone's kindness.

Small group pictures. =D

Rubio's. No fries. The Down-Low. A million hugs from Nancy. Repeating waiter. Screaming, screaming girls. Julie's terrifed look. Dan Choi and Paul walking us to our car. The guys playing pool.

Office hours. The rain. Horseback riding. A ridiculous number of cookies. Care packages. Andy ditching me twice. The ludicrous idea of being a co-emcee. An amazing testimony. Seeing Andy nervous. An inappropriate and unnecessary flyer. Sharing a thankful story with Melanie. Praise with 1000 people. Fearing too much the wrong things and not fearing the little things enough. Fruit Breeze cough drops. Stupid Andy Chon not thinking he has talent. Leftovers for Fred. It's now #3. Video talent.

"Lackadaisical." Eugene Shin uses this word in everyday conversation. Hahaha.

Flyering with Dennis Chon. Being made fun of the exact same way. Cheese N Stuff. Freaking Chon brothers. More birthday coincidences. The library during the day. It's been getting gloomier. A random stranger at the door. An unsettling feeling. Care packages. I miss eggplant. More pints. Talk with Karen: being psychotic, being funny mad and not, vexing Andy Chon and others.

Fred hitting me in the crotch with his umbrella.

A crazy long day. Almond M&M's. Trader Joe's. Quality time with myself. Passing the test and saying confessions of who Christ is in our life. SGL Sewon. A talk with Julie and Sewon about having faith despite the questions and doubts. A Mud Pie Cake for Janet. 16 juniors. An interesting talk with Kwansoo: disturbing punishments, being feminine only when the thought processes are involved, and him convoluting everything I say. Trying to find a Windows XP Professional CD Key and feeling cool and dangerous for breaking the law.

Happy Birthday Susan Kum. =]

"I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me... When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will in me without any hindrance. He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. Self-pity is of the devil, and if I wallow in it, I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world." -excerpt from My Utmost for His Highest.

Thank you Sewon and Andy Chon. =]

Andy's normal voice. Pho. Alice and Fred's puzzle. No ice cream at Costco. Only minimal samples. A box of popsicles. Strawberry, lime, and wild berry, in that order. Fred driving. Andy and me sitting in the back. Picking up Dark Abe. Loitering because so early. Orange slushies and popcorn. Elf. Rainbow colors. A random fountain. Pictures from Costco.

It seems like time has just run out. When does it be what you want and when is it what God wants? Confused and seeking God. Prayer.

A long day of shopping. My one happy purchase. Butter and cornbread. Being true heifers at Fresh Choice. Taquitos and cream puffs. Prayer. Plans for Love Actually. An open talk with Sharon. Seeing things on a different side.

Being hobbits. Living dreams and not letting them diminish. Toddler gibberish. Manly features. A Symphony chocolate bar. A guy willingly carrying shopping bags. Pastor Eugene's raw and sudden emotional state. Being hobbits. Andy stealing my big chicken leg. Madison's "You are Holy" and Nicole's "My God is so Big." Nighttime and Good mornings. A good talk about relationships during work. A shopping frenzy.

No limits on bets.

The rain as it should be. =]

Andy's sexy voice. Coldness from the knees down. Caedmons' Call and Jars of Clay concert. Being obnoxious and acting like the high school kids Sewon and I were surrounded by. Nice ladies next to us, not being able to sing, but just singing.

Denny's with Andy, Kwansoo, Frank, and Kristy. Being bald. Andy completely conking out and not even knowing it. Scary pranks. Movie quotables and food we dislike and can't eat. Talking about Andy's top list of girls. Then talking about Kwansoo's top list of girls.

Costco and Safeway with Karen, Kwansoo and Andy. Prayer meeting with Alice and the same passage that spoke to us: James 2, 3. Freshman lock-in. Having 5 glorious minutes. Loving the freshies. They all liking my cookies. Spraying myself with water again. Q&A and tension between Jenny and Karen. Esther and her assist.org answer. Andy's little fanclub. Reminiscing and feeling nostalgic. Kwansoo and I feeling old. Hating Andy. A Krisy Kreme doughnut from Brian. Being the most horrible moderator. Playing spoons with quarters. Richard's black and white photos. Jennifer, Richard, and Brian all taking pictures. Sun taking black and white pictures of people with mafia faces. The Chon brothes as mafia. Joyce as cop 3x in a row. James and Joyce being cop and angel two times together. Yellow socks. Dennis rubbing his head. Solomon's forgetfulness of names and his fetish with shiny things. Kwansoo scaring the crap out of me. Getting lost to buy chips and then randomly finding a market.

Wishing I was up more at 6 am driving along the Bay Bridge and watching the sunrise. Wishing for more days like this.

The bad of today:
-Computer being broken again.
-Being hated by the English professor.
-Rewinding my camera film at 5 and missing out for the rest of the night.

The good of today:
-Andy putting in quarters into the wrong parking meter.
-Janet buying chocolate gummi bears, and Andy buying malt balls while both complaining non-stop about hunger.
-Andy and Carroll as our photographers.
-The cruise: watching the birds fly in a straight line and then into a V-formation, seeing the sea lions heads pop up out of the water, going under the Golden Gate Bridge, passing by Alcatraz, feeling like we were in a surreal scene in a movie, warning Carroll to be careful of the waves and then Esther, Julie, and me getting splashed instead, goosebumps on Judy's cheeks, Julie's red nose and tears, the Tetris-shaped lights, the trampoline, Captain Hans, Andy's random thinking, Judy's not so subtle insult, Esther always knowing when Carroll's taking pictures.
-Looking at Carroll's pictures, falling asleep and forgetting about where we were, Peasant Pie's chicken and potato and blueberry pear, Sriracha, A Szn Tung, one per person, hilarious fortune cookies, opening presents, kimchi and onions, Carroll filming me, Hannah's thorough enjoyment of her food.
-A car ride with obnoxious Kevin, snapping fingers at Kevin and my new handshake, "What is the purpose of an umbrella?" "What is the point of having an umbrella?" "Why?" Providing Karen with endless amusement, talking about GPAs, the LSAT, and what colleges we could have ended up at.
-Fentons: the berry go round, trying to push Kevin off the bench, pinching and hitting heads, Carroll's ugly video of me and the place where it ends, Karen's insisting on putting it on his blog so that Andy Chon could make fun, Julie and Jenny's fallen mound of ice cream.
-Carroll: Carroll focusing on ugly shots, his amazing pictures of panoramic sunsets, good times talking and reminiscing, discussing how we first met certain people.

An amazing and unforgettable night tonight. Rachel's Challenge. Start a chain reaction! To tell one another how much we love one another. To approach life with compassion and kindness. To look through a situation and not at it. Parallels with Anne Frank and Christ. Pictures. The simple and amazing conviction of one girl. Honestly feeling how real and alive God is.

Radio with Julie. 86 seats. "I like french fries. Ooh, I like black-eyed peas." Crying and shivering in cold. Good talk with Julie.

So excited about tomorrow. Wanting to truly appreciate God's creation.

The sunset and sunrise. Just the earth rotating and turning.

"You can start a chain reaction!"

A talk with Nancy about friendships and laughter.

A traveler's notebook. Avant Card. Sophia and other girl being Captain Hook. Last confirmation meeting. "Onerous." First real chat with Pastor Eugene. Amazing perception. Studying with the Piedmontians. Unable to concentrate. Making a list. Being faced with it, and now knowing how to deal with it. It's all about bringing it to the gospel message. Carolina is my pan de queso friend. My motto with Carolina: No more stress and drama.

Love and Basketball. Fresh baguettes and spread. A lovely class senior picture. Being humiliated again. Andy scaring the crap out of me. Red splotches all over my face. A hot face, and cold back. Lesson learned from Pastor Eugene. Despising boys. John Yun is one funny guy. Butt warmers. Laughing seriously so hard. Issey Miyake.

Learning to trust God. Heidi slapping my face and throwing herself at Royee. The rain. =] Berry Kiwi juice. Joo's heavy blanket and looking like an ���ܸ�. Andy's feminine throw. Crazy slipping and sliding. Staring up at the rain falling. In-N-Out. Whispering and giggling behind my back. Eugene's car spinning out. Non-existent force fields.

"God gets us grounded on strong reality and truth. He does this until our cares for ourselves individually have been brought into submission to His way for the purpose of His redemption. Why shouldn't we experience heartbreak? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?" -My Utmost for His Highest, Nov.1.


Wow. Thanks Stephen.

Finally fixing the futon. Carolina sleeping sitting straight up. Stupid Guesstures. Ice cream. =]

Blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers.

Cafe Do Brasil. All you can eat Brazilian BBQ. Hurray for the pao de quiejo club. =D

Talk with Sara.

Pho with Danny. Nothing in my sauce. Talking about the future and marriage. Talking about praise. The difference between a voice sounding good and not.

Hail and rain. The black brown sky.

Hallelujah Night. Cute cute kids and cute cute costumes. Driving back with fogged up windows.

Tired of seeing the same people. In need of some change.

Quesadillas. Red, white and light blue wristbands. Looking dang forward to 11/23/03 8pm.

"Guys don't really ever listen to you unless it involves them."

It rained for the first time tonight. =]

Enormous bites on my arm. Lovely gusty winds. Making a poster for work and having Karen do most of it.