Andy's drawings depicting today perfectly.


Needing to talk and having no one to talk to.

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are stronger at the broken places." -Ernest Hemingway.

Jerked out of the make-believe and left abandoned in reality.

Mr. Bush. Seven Jeans. Eggplant Crepes. Boys and girls. Hating the word "awkward." RA Steve is still so cute. Tuesdays with Julie! =]

"That's why I wish I was a grown up... cuz then I can buy all the candy and soda I want." -Amber.

"And when I have a mansion, I'm going to invite all the famous boy stars over... like Lil Bow Wow." -Mikkala.

Slowly, but surely.

Lunch with Caroline and Emily, my freshmen roomies. Exhausted and feeling a bit overwhelmed.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A11951-2003Oct11.html

"Despite the contradictory facts, it is sometimes necessary to be naive and believe that the world is filled with good people."

Thanks Tehmi.

...

Lord,
Please. Pretty pretty please.
Thank you.

An oasis mirage shimmering amidst the scorching desert. White lilies everywhere. The Sea of Galilee. Two red roses. Heart-shaped fans. Allison's pantaloons. Family gossip. Garden Buffet. A second cousin who attends Berkeley. Pure happiness and love. Taylor on her purple belt and striving for the black belt in order to get her ears pierced. Take-out boxes. Delicious messed-up food. Gina ���'s billionth candied ���.

Contemplative thoughts. "Commercial-free, positive, encouraging K-Love."

Reliving summer '02 with Julie: "Heartless Tin-Woman," World Cup nights, Korean drama nights, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Ranch 99 Pho excursions, Long, long talks. Consensus that it was the best summer ever.

"College is the only time you have to find a boyfriend. It's now or never... Look at me, for example." -Auntie Tae.

Some things never change: "Ms. Poopsie Potty Tushie." An extended chat with Mona. Finding out how even more manly I was as a baby. High school had some damn good times. Reacquainting myself with The Boxcar Children.

It's nice to be in a bright and sunny room every once in a while.

Something I found written as a 7th grader in 1995 [ignore the grammatical errors]:

"Do not follow where the path leads. Rather go where there is no path and leave a trail.

For an example, on the topic of the battle of the devil, several people are sucked into the devil's temptations and evil doings. Yet there are many people who have turned around and have made their own choices.

Do not follow where the path leads. Basically, that means not to be lead by the devil and end up in hell. Rather go where there is no path and leave a trail. Turn around, declare that you have repented. Turn around and make your own trail, a trail that will be full of dangers and failures, but one that will wind its way up to a place, a place greater than anywhere else.

What is the devil's master trick? What is it that leads to all of those terrors in the world today? A lie. A simple lie is the devil's main trick. How can such a natural thing, be so dangerous to the world? Once you start, you can't stop. And one lie leads to another and another."

Amazing revelation: DennIS and JahndIS. =] Homemade chocolate chip and jelly cookies. A windy night. 4 pints with Piedmonters. Chicago. Purple toes.


"Kit-Kat?"
"Oh, no thanks."
"What? I thought you eat everything."
"=[ (sad face)"

A full moon. Welcome home store-bought dinner of ��= and ��κ�. White nectarines. An emptiness in the pit of my tummy.

Reception at home. =]

bCxaNgeL143: we'll blankly stare at each other
bCxaNgeL143: "what do u thin kjahndee?"
bCxaNgeL143: "i dunno"
bCxaNgeL143: "i dunno either"
bCxaNgeL143: "silence..."
Kpxgrlx012: shaddup
Kpxgrlx012: i know what to do
Kpxgrlx012: i am very self-efficient
bCxaNgeL143: jhandee: "ooooh oooh!! i have an idea! hurry before i lose it!"
bCxaNgeL143: sewon: "what what!!"
bCxaNgeL143: jhandee: "crap! i just lost it!"
bCxaNgeL143: sewon: "aish! crap! freakin gee jee beh!"
Kpxgrlx012: ahahahaahahahah
bCxaNgeL143: jahdee: "i'm not geejeebeh!"
bCxaNgeL143: the end
Kpxgrlx012: i hate you
bCxaNgeL143: u love meeeeeeeeeee
Kpxgrlx012: sorta
Kpxgrlx012: its a lukewarm kinda love
bCxaNgeL143: watever
bCxaNgeL143: it's burning passion
Kpxgrlx012: SICK

"You start the conversation."
"Ok. Hi."

Already forgetting and making everything so much worse.


"We ask God to forgive us for our evil thoughts and evil temper, but rarely, if ever, ask Him to forgive us for our sadness." -R. W. Dale.

Reconciliation. Heidi is a pretty princess. Damp shoulders. Unexpected In-n-Out excursion. "You guys look like aliens." Reliving three years of forgotten memories... good and bad.


It's already the 7th week.

Finally having Outlook Express... with 1051 emails to sort through.

Disgruntled Andrew Chon is an unattractive Andrew Chon. Blacked-out visible names. Indian accents. The BFG. Horrifying memories of Knott's Scary Farm. Open heart-to-hearts. Associations and Assumptions.


.:Things aren't always what they seem. Having faith:.

"Empty again
Sunken down so far
So scared to fall
Might not get up again

So I lay at Your feet
All my brokenness
I carry all of my burdens to You

All of these things
Held up in vain
No reason or rhyme
Just the scars that remain
Of all of these things
I'm so much afraid
Scared out of my mind
By the demons I've made
Sweet Jesus, you never ever let me go
Oh, sweet Jesus, you never ever let me go

So happy to love
Yet so far to go
You lead me on to where I've never been before"
-Much Afraid by Jars of Clay.

Andrew Chon almost got me killed today. Instead of apologizing, he was glad that I was closer to the oncoming truck so that I'd buffer the impact of the hit. What a swell guy.


Corned beef. Fruit and creme Starbursts. "J is for Jayne is my favorite CA." Fenton's cookie dough ice cream[Thanks Amanda!]. Jars of Clay. 4th floor Moffit is made public. God in The Great Gatsby.

Not knowing what to do. Feeling hopelessly lost.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." -Leo Buscaglia.