i went white water rafting this past weekend with small group... which i guess i can say has been the highlight of this summer. i had a pretty good time, especially for someone who has the physical competence of a ten year old and who despises the sun as much as she despises getting dirty. oh, and my closest encounter with death also made the experience quite memorable. haha. i don't think i'll ever forget being submerged completely underwater and being dragged down the rapid appropriately coined "the mother," all the while staring up at my right shoe, tangled in the raft, refusing to let me go free and float away safely.

needless to say, after that exciting event, the rest of the time spent rafting rather dragged and was almost tedious at times. however, there were parts along the river where we just floated along, letting the river's natural currents take our little raft of me and josei wherever it pleased, and that was quite nice. later josei and i were talking and we were both amazed that something so simple as a river could wield so much power over us. it made me realize how little of my life is actually controlled by me. in the large scope of things, we are so very insignificant and our existence can be obliterated if fitting. it was so easy to be swept away by the river's current... especially during the crazy mother. no matter how much josei or i struggled against the current, we were no match for the river's strength. *watch me now connect my thoughts* thinking back always puts things into perspective for me. our lives are already destined to run a certain way according to God's plan. basically, there's no use fighting Him cuz we don't control our lives and we abide by what He says. He is the current that carries us where He sees fit and our efforts to go against that are utterly futile. everything else will be fine if we just lie back and let God lead the way. it's essential to have that faith... just like even though i was simultaneously snorting up nasty river water and swallowing mad chunks of it and thought i was going to die, i also had faith that the lifeguard man would come and rescue me. which he did. so hooray for him. =] *moment of profound silence*