These are the encouraging words from a friend[?] of mine. I won't disclose his name for it will only shock the multitudes of chickies that worship the ground he walks on. Fools, they are, FOOLS.
"I only like you cuz I have to like you."
"God will punish you and you will fail all of your finals."
...
This time next week it'll all be over.
Saturday, May 17, 2003
I hate the library. It is horrible. But the one good thing about it is that I get to talk to people I don't normally get to and we can stress, be ugly, eat, and encourage one another if need be.
I got raped on my PS 150 final today. I ran in late so that my thoughts were all scattered when I started my essay. And there was frigid air blowing directly into my face so that I was really cold and coughing a lot. Also, the girl gsi decided to be nice and bake cookies, and brought them for everyone in the class to eat after they turned in their finals. However, since I was late, I had to sit in the very front, and the very front of the room were where the cookies were situated. I kept eyeing the cookies for three hours and my mind kept wandering as I thought about what type of cookies they were and how much I wish I was done with my final so that I could get a cookie.
...
bCxaNgeL143 (4:55:27 AM): u're such a freakin girl
Kpxgrlx012 (4:55:41 AM): what??
bCxaNgeL143 (4:56:03 AM): u are
Kpxgrlx012 (4:56:13 AM): WHAT
bCxaNgeL143 (4:56:18 AM): despite that man voice of urs...
bCxaNgeL143 (4:56:27 AM): and ur frequent obnoxious burps
bCxaNgeL143 (4:56:42 AM): and ur ignorance of girly facial hygiene products
bCxaNgeL143 (4:56:56 AM): and ur refusal to wear a dress
Kpxgrlx012 (4:57:02 AM): ...
bCxaNgeL143 (4:57:07 AM): u're such a girl
Kpxgrlx012 (4:57:08 AM): yeah
Kpxgrlx012 (4:57:12 AM): im sorry
bCxaNgeL143 (4:57:34 AM): it's a compliment!!
Kpxgrlx012 (4:57:49 AM): HOW IS THAT A COMPLIMENT
bCxaNgeL143 (4:57:53 AM): IT IS!!!
bCxaNgeL143 (4:57:54 AM): OMG
bCxaNgeL143 (4:58:14 AM): it means u're really sensitive inside
bCxaNgeL143 (4:58:25 AM): thass why u don't like things that hurt..things that taste nasty
bCxaNgeL143 (4:58:36 AM): and why u cry so easily in movies
I still don't understand how anything Sewon mentioned above compliments me in any way.
I got raped on my PS 150 final today. I ran in late so that my thoughts were all scattered when I started my essay. And there was frigid air blowing directly into my face so that I was really cold and coughing a lot. Also, the girl gsi decided to be nice and bake cookies, and brought them for everyone in the class to eat after they turned in their finals. However, since I was late, I had to sit in the very front, and the very front of the room were where the cookies were situated. I kept eyeing the cookies for three hours and my mind kept wandering as I thought about what type of cookies they were and how much I wish I was done with my final so that I could get a cookie.
...
bCxaNgeL143 (4:55:27 AM): u're such a freakin girl
Kpxgrlx012 (4:55:41 AM): what??
bCxaNgeL143 (4:56:03 AM): u are
Kpxgrlx012 (4:56:13 AM): WHAT
bCxaNgeL143 (4:56:18 AM): despite that man voice of urs...
bCxaNgeL143 (4:56:27 AM): and ur frequent obnoxious burps
bCxaNgeL143 (4:56:42 AM): and ur ignorance of girly facial hygiene products
bCxaNgeL143 (4:56:56 AM): and ur refusal to wear a dress
Kpxgrlx012 (4:57:02 AM): ...
bCxaNgeL143 (4:57:07 AM): u're such a girl
Kpxgrlx012 (4:57:08 AM): yeah
Kpxgrlx012 (4:57:12 AM): im sorry
bCxaNgeL143 (4:57:34 AM): it's a compliment!!
Kpxgrlx012 (4:57:49 AM): HOW IS THAT A COMPLIMENT
bCxaNgeL143 (4:57:53 AM): IT IS!!!
bCxaNgeL143 (4:57:54 AM): OMG
bCxaNgeL143 (4:58:14 AM): it means u're really sensitive inside
bCxaNgeL143 (4:58:25 AM): thass why u don't like things that hurt..things that taste nasty
bCxaNgeL143 (4:58:36 AM): and why u cry so easily in movies
I still don't understand how anything Sewon mentioned above compliments me in any way.
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
This is my bad day...
-My cough hasn't gotten better despite the fact that I've been o'ding on Kristy's cough syrup and sleeping with the heater on. My throat, head and abs hurt from the incessant coughing. I also cannot return to the library as a result of my chagrining experience last night.
-Today was hot. I despise it when it's hot and I don't have any popsicles.
-I gave myself a horrible migraine that lasted for approximately 6 hours. Causes included the heat, my coughing, and the smell of my hair. I've changed my shampoo and the new smell of it makes me want to rip my hair out. The heat makes the smell especially worse and the stench from my own head engulfed me in the most overwhelmingly oppressive way possible.
-Unpleasant experience at Bing Ling's.
-Korean 100B. Words cannot describe the way I feel right now. *sigh*
-My cough hasn't gotten better despite the fact that I've been o'ding on Kristy's cough syrup and sleeping with the heater on. My throat, head and abs hurt from the incessant coughing. I also cannot return to the library as a result of my chagrining experience last night.
-Today was hot. I despise it when it's hot and I don't have any popsicles.
-I gave myself a horrible migraine that lasted for approximately 6 hours. Causes included the heat, my coughing, and the smell of my hair. I've changed my shampoo and the new smell of it makes me want to rip my hair out. The heat makes the smell especially worse and the stench from my own head engulfed me in the most overwhelmingly oppressive way possible.
-Unpleasant experience at Bing Ling's.
-Korean 100B. Words cannot describe the way I feel right now. *sigh*
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
I got kicked out of Moffit library for coughing so much. I was so humiliated. =[
I had my once-a-year talk with Andy just now. We talked outside my apartment for a few hours with my coughing spurts and his red, itchy eye from rubbing it after playing with Dooli. This is my conclusion: I can't understand why it is that Andy and I never get the chance to talk until it is too late. It is mind-boggling. *sigh* And I can't help but wonder if things would be different had we the chance to have talked to each other when we needed to.
I had my once-a-year talk with Andy just now. We talked outside my apartment for a few hours with my coughing spurts and his red, itchy eye from rubbing it after playing with Dooli. This is my conclusion: I can't understand why it is that Andy and I never get the chance to talk until it is too late. It is mind-boggling. *sigh* And I can't help but wonder if things would be different had we the chance to have talked to each other when we needed to.
Saturday, May 10, 2003
Reading everyone's blogs have made me feel weird. I sense the urgency in making the most of this last year left at Berkeley, but at the same time, I don't want to force the memories and experiences to occur simply for the sake of it being my senior year. I just want to go with the flow, and hope that God will continue to show me his blessings and love through the people that surround me.
Last night at Robert and John Song's house is an example. I had a lot of fun, despite the fact that we didn't get to watch "집으로" and cry as planned. Instead, we watched Kings of Comedy and Kung Pow, and played countless rounds of speed scrabble. There was a really diverse group of people so that made me happy cuz I got to know other people better and also see their oddities and quirks fully exposed late at night. The night passed by sort of in a blur cuz it was so fun and was so frequently punctuated by coughing fits. But this is some of the stuff I remember:
-John Song's niceness. Examples include: getting Fred glasses of milk, getting Fred a LOT of vanilla bean ice cream, making me green tea, giving me a band-aid AND Neosporin, and letting us eat all his munchies.
-Hearing James Song, Kwansoo, and John Im be the only ones in the entire room laughing uproariously at Kung Pow.
-Watching Fred spend many many minutes making only 5+ letter words with his Scrabble pieces and my being thoroughly impressed when he finished.
-Liz and her dirty Scrabble words. =]
-Albert telling me that I sound like a manly baby. Kwansoo telling me that my voice is lower than his.
-Jack in the Box late at night. [Thanks Rob, Josei, and Nancy for getting the food for all of us.]
-Being kidnapped to Kwan's house to watch The Ring 2.
-Listening to The Ring 2 after seeing the first scene and concluding that 1. it was going to be too scary and 2. it would take too much effort to read the blurry Korean subtitles.
-Waking up with Fred to go home in the morning. Seeing everyone else still conked out and sprawled out in a disgusting manner either on the floor or on the bed.
Last night at Robert and John Song's house is an example. I had a lot of fun, despite the fact that we didn't get to watch "집으로" and cry as planned. Instead, we watched Kings of Comedy and Kung Pow, and played countless rounds of speed scrabble. There was a really diverse group of people so that made me happy cuz I got to know other people better and also see their oddities and quirks fully exposed late at night. The night passed by sort of in a blur cuz it was so fun and was so frequently punctuated by coughing fits. But this is some of the stuff I remember:
-John Song's niceness. Examples include: getting Fred glasses of milk, getting Fred a LOT of vanilla bean ice cream, making me green tea, giving me a band-aid AND Neosporin, and letting us eat all his munchies.
-Hearing James Song, Kwansoo, and John Im be the only ones in the entire room laughing uproariously at Kung Pow.
-Watching Fred spend many many minutes making only 5+ letter words with his Scrabble pieces and my being thoroughly impressed when he finished.
-Liz and her dirty Scrabble words. =]
-Albert telling me that I sound like a manly baby. Kwansoo telling me that my voice is lower than his.
-Jack in the Box late at night. [Thanks Rob, Josei, and Nancy for getting the food for all of us.]
-Being kidnapped to Kwan's house to watch The Ring 2.
-Listening to The Ring 2 after seeing the first scene and concluding that 1. it was going to be too scary and 2. it would take too much effort to read the blurry Korean subtitles.
-Waking up with Fred to go home in the morning. Seeing everyone else still conked out and sprawled out in a disgusting manner either on the floor or on the bed.
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
Today was a really good day except I didn't get anything academically productive done. I have yet to find a topic for my English 100 paper due Thursday that is worth virtually 99% of my grade. And I realized the sad fact that I have hesitations around certain people who other people think I'm "good friends" with. These hesitations usually indicate that I have trouble confiding in these supposed "friends."
On a much happier note, the definite highlight of the day was our last small group meeting at the Super DC, treated by the super cool little freshies of our group. =D
Afterwards, Amanda, Liz, Jenny, Esther, Janet, Carolina, and myself headed over to Esther's place for a time of sharing and talking. It was such a great time cuz everyone just opened up and shared all their different issues and dilemmas. There were many different emotions felt tonight... a lot of sad and frustrated tears in the beginning, but a lot of happy and obnoxious laughter at the end. Wow... if there is anything that I can be thankful for this year, it is my small group this year. I seriously find it such a blessing to have found such a great group of people that I could really open up with and share all my problems. I get so incredibly happy whenever I get to spend time with them... and so I don't know how I'll be able to cope next year without all of them.
The funny moments of tonight:
-Pet names shared between significant others.
-Janet Kwak's ugly new hairstyle.
-Amanda and her future mate.
-Jenny and her "8" previous boyfriends.
-Why guys and girls cannot be "best friends."
On a much happier note, the definite highlight of the day was our last small group meeting at the Super DC, treated by the super cool little freshies of our group. =D
Afterwards, Amanda, Liz, Jenny, Esther, Janet, Carolina, and myself headed over to Esther's place for a time of sharing and talking. It was such a great time cuz everyone just opened up and shared all their different issues and dilemmas. There were many different emotions felt tonight... a lot of sad and frustrated tears in the beginning, but a lot of happy and obnoxious laughter at the end. Wow... if there is anything that I can be thankful for this year, it is my small group this year. I seriously find it such a blessing to have found such a great group of people that I could really open up with and share all my problems. I get so incredibly happy whenever I get to spend time with them... and so I don't know how I'll be able to cope next year without all of them.
The funny moments of tonight:
-Pet names shared between significant others.
-Janet Kwak's ugly new hairstyle.
-Amanda and her future mate.
-Jenny and her "8" previous boyfriends.
-Why guys and girls cannot be "best friends."
Monday, May 05, 2003
I watched X2: X-Men United with a bunch of juniors. I haven't seen the first one though and I have very limited knowledge of these mutants and their powers. Kwansoo got mad at me cuz he was really excited about the characters and wanted to discuss them, but I was completely useless. But I liked the movie even though I didn't understand why and how the white man who looked like Gandalf was in jail in the first place and why the Rogue chick was so close to Wolverine. [Hugh Jackman is freakin hot btw. WOW. That other guy that turns into metal also had a very delicious body~ it was chock full of well-defined abs, pecs, and other yummy muscles.] There were some sad moments in the movie too where I could feel my eyes starting to sting and feel my chest tighten, but those moments would quickly disappear when hearing Nancy and Alex's snickers and snorts at the cheesiness of the movie. Which, I admit, was quite cheesy at times, but I like cheesy and how the movieworld jerks my emotions around. Haha. But the part where the sunglasses guy was talking to the bald man was pretty ugly. His face was all squished and contorted in what was supposed to be heart-breaking pain and angst, but it was just straight-up ugly cuz it looked like he had one of those vein-popping-out-of-your-forehead-cuz-you-have-to-push-so-damn-hard ddong experiences.
Then Esther, Nancy, Andy, Kwansoo, Roy, Billy, Slum, and I went to Denny's. We spent over two hours there. I'm getting annoyed by my sister's stupid keyboard so here's my quick recap:
-Nancy, Esther and I getting scared that no one was at Denny's and that everything was so deathly quiet.
-Nancy and I thinking that the waiter man at Denny's knew that Roy was a magician.
-Good convo with Nancy while we were waiting for the boys to come and reading the menu over and over again discussing the level of fat we wanted to taste in our foods and what dessert looked good.
-Roy's stupid superpowers that failed miserably: having photographic memory [normal people already have], not needing oxygen to live so that he could live under the sea by himself and be a lonely old hag who plays with imaginary mer-people, and being 2-dimensional so that people could carry him in their pockets and people could use him to shade themselves or to fan fires.
-Billy and Slum shooting down every single one of Nancy's ideas cuz they were too evil and selfish.
-Roy's face turning all wrinkled and scrunchy and red from laughing so hard and watching him dab his tears like a girl.
-Nancy as *Condiment Girl* and having the wonderful superpower of squirting out any desired condiment through her fingers. [This was one of my favorites. Can you imagine?? The possibilities would be endless...]
-Slum's comment of how we all already possess our own superpowers. He gave three examples and then stopped. [Slum: to be tall, Billy: ability to not know how to cut his own hair, Roy: pimp power]
It was a time full of lots of fun, laughs, and good company. It made me very happy. =]
Then Esther, Nancy, Andy, Kwansoo, Roy, Billy, Slum, and I went to Denny's. We spent over two hours there. I'm getting annoyed by my sister's stupid keyboard so here's my quick recap:
-Nancy, Esther and I getting scared that no one was at Denny's and that everything was so deathly quiet.
-Nancy and I thinking that the waiter man at Denny's knew that Roy was a magician.
-Good convo with Nancy while we were waiting for the boys to come and reading the menu over and over again discussing the level of fat we wanted to taste in our foods and what dessert looked good.
-Roy's stupid superpowers that failed miserably: having photographic memory [normal people already have], not needing oxygen to live so that he could live under the sea by himself and be a lonely old hag who plays with imaginary mer-people, and being 2-dimensional so that people could carry him in their pockets and people could use him to shade themselves or to fan fires.
-Billy and Slum shooting down every single one of Nancy's ideas cuz they were too evil and selfish.
-Roy's face turning all wrinkled and scrunchy and red from laughing so hard and watching him dab his tears like a girl.
-Nancy as *Condiment Girl* and having the wonderful superpower of squirting out any desired condiment through her fingers. [This was one of my favorites. Can you imagine?? The possibilities would be endless...]
-Slum's comment of how we all already possess our own superpowers. He gave three examples and then stopped. [Slum: to be tall, Billy: ability to not know how to cut his own hair, Roy: pimp power]
It was a time full of lots of fun, laughs, and good company. It made me very happy. =]
Sunday, May 04, 2003
Senior banquet was tonight. I can't believe how quickly it came and passed. I also can't believe that this time next year, I will be attending my last senior banquet. Everyone looked amazing tonight. Everything was so great.. the skits, Royee's quasi-magic show, the performances, the videos, the slide show. Andy Chon's talent is extraordinary. The slideshow he created for the seniors was incredible. I hope the seniors were able to see just a glimpse of how important they are to all of us. There's something about pictures that can encapsulate one's true feelings and intentions without having to blatantly state it. I think Andy's slideshow did just that.
Thursday, May 01, 2003
The Good:
-I finally finished my PS 150 20-page paper that's due today at 2pm. Too bad my partner has the other half of it so I don't know if what I wrote makes sense.
-I had my longest conversation ever with Paul Hwang in the wee hours of the morning. I honestly believe there are some girls who think protruding bellies are dead sexy. ... Or at least his.
-I thought about my small group and I got happy.
-I was perusing through a bunch of pictures and then re-watched the ESBN slideshow.
-I had a lovely conversation with my momma. I miss her. =/
The Bad:
-I haven't been home since 10:30 yesterday morning.
-I haven't eaten solid food since 3pm yesterday. But I have drunken 1 can of Diet Coke and 2 cans of Pepsi Twist.
-I hate the Unit 1 Computing Center.
The Straight-Up Disgusting:
-I haven't brushed my teeth since 10:30 yesterday morning. And since I imbibed three cans of carbonated beverage, there is this wonderful sugary film coating my teeth.
-I finally finished my PS 150 20-page paper that's due today at 2pm. Too bad my partner has the other half of it so I don't know if what I wrote makes sense.
-I had my longest conversation ever with Paul Hwang in the wee hours of the morning. I honestly believe there are some girls who think protruding bellies are dead sexy. ... Or at least his.
-I thought about my small group and I got happy.
-I was perusing through a bunch of pictures and then re-watched the ESBN slideshow.
-I had a lovely conversation with my momma. I miss her. =/
The Bad:
-I haven't been home since 10:30 yesterday morning.
-I haven't eaten solid food since 3pm yesterday. But I have drunken 1 can of Diet Coke and 2 cans of Pepsi Twist.
-I hate the Unit 1 Computing Center.
The Straight-Up Disgusting:
-I haven't brushed my teeth since 10:30 yesterday morning. And since I imbibed three cans of carbonated beverage, there is this wonderful sugary film coating my teeth.
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
I went to Costco today with Sewon. She went to buy us a berry sundae while I finished my slice of pizza. Feeling lonely, I was chomping away while absentmindedly staring off into space when I suddenly noticed this little old wrinkled lady sitting at the next table, facing me. I like old people, so I stared while she ate a hot dog, vertically held very carefully in her two hands. Then I began to get worried for her, especially cuz she looked a bit sad and melancholic sitting there, all by herself with her hot dog. But I realized she had a little old wrinkled spouse as he came toddling back to her after refilling his drink cup. She didn't even notice him though, until he was standing right in front of her, pouring some of his drink into her empty cup. I watched her stare at the cup for a split second in pure confusion, and then watched her eyes light in pure joy as she smiled up at her husband who was smiling back down at her. I saw her mouth the words, "Thank you" and watched as she, still smiling, re-settled her gaze back onto the cup until he was done.
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
I don't like it when you're in a really good and happy mood, and one person can kill that mood by making you feel completely stupid. It's such a horrible feeling... to feel that you are insignificant and worthless and are someone that don't matter at all. No one should have to feel like that. No one deserves to feel like that.
Monday, April 28, 2003
Royee's big butt (_I_) is sleeping. Karen's murmuring her paper outloud to herself. I am working on my 8-10 page paper that is due at 4pm today.
bCxaNgeL143: judas iscariot: hurry and finish ur paper!
bCxaNgeL143: red: good luck and don't fall asleep!
bCxaNgeL143: kink: hurry up! u only have a page left
bCxaNgeL143: aiite this saintly sewon go to bed and sleep cozily
bCxaNgeL143: see ya guys soon
bCxaNgeL143: nite!
bCxaNgeL143: judas iscariot: hurry and finish ur paper!
bCxaNgeL143: red: good luck and don't fall asleep!
bCxaNgeL143: kink: hurry up! u only have a page left
bCxaNgeL143: aiite this saintly sewon go to bed and sleep cozily
bCxaNgeL143: see ya guys soon
bCxaNgeL143: nite!
Friday, April 25, 2003
Something most unfortunate happened to me.
I was walking along Telegraph on my way home after miserably failing my Korean test [*sigh*]. There were lots of people on the street so I was forced to walk in a single line behind a tall dark-skinned man. It is quite breezy today, and as luck would have it, while I was trudging along home, the breeze was forcibly blowing against me. It naturally decided to pick up the vile b.o. stench emitting from this tall fellow and unmercifully cram it up my defenseless nostrils. This happened for an entire block. I wanted to move and escape but the flow of the opposing barrage of people forced me to stare at this guy's back in disbelief as I gulped oxygen through my open mouth.
I am now quite lightheaded and dizzy. I deduce that this must be the combined effect of the foul odor and the lack of oxygen to my brain.
I was walking along Telegraph on my way home after miserably failing my Korean test [*sigh*]. There were lots of people on the street so I was forced to walk in a single line behind a tall dark-skinned man. It is quite breezy today, and as luck would have it, while I was trudging along home, the breeze was forcibly blowing against me. It naturally decided to pick up the vile b.o. stench emitting from this tall fellow and unmercifully cram it up my defenseless nostrils. This happened for an entire block. I wanted to move and escape but the flow of the opposing barrage of people forced me to stare at this guy's back in disbelief as I gulped oxygen through my open mouth.
I am now quite lightheaded and dizzy. I deduce that this must be the combined effect of the foul odor and the lack of oxygen to my brain.
