"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." -Mother Teresa.

I took my last final ever at Berkeley right now. It was a very anti-climactic feeling.

I also received something that I don't deserve. I don't know what to do about it because it feels like I'm wearing a lie.

In sheer delirium, Sewon and I traipsed all over the Bay area in search for the prettiest flowers.

It was surreal watching Judy and Slum walk across the stage.

I had a good time catching up with Brian, one of my favorite little people in the entire world. =]

Judy's reception at King Yen was the perfect way to end the long day. Danny's surprise treat at Fentons'. David's sleaziness. Everyone giving me lip about my previous blog entry on pimply backs. Getting the crap scared out of me in the car.

Re-watching an old episode of Sang-Doo and crying again.

Saturday: Carolina time. =] Costco is a representation of the real world. The random 4 East freeway. Reacquainting ourselves with Great Khan. Ice cream cones and cookies. Welcome Julie Oh. =] Dinner at Jong Ga Jib. The nice waiter man who gave us extra noodles at my request. Talking about the real world vs. Ficb world. It's scary to realize that my growing and self-discovery process is not over yet.

Laker game 6. Watching with girls is so much better. Characterizing the players and no one agreeing with me. Susan's Shaq impersonation. Esther's blueberry cheesecakes. Buffalo wings and West Coast pizza. Diet Coke. A sad loss for the Spurs. Tony Parker looks like Elijah Wood. Movie time with Julie and Esther. Dong Gam with Kim Ha Neul and Yoo Ji Tae. I love Yoo Ji Tae when he smiles. The good background music. Talking about pimples, graduations, and life in general.

Sunday: Last nursery for a while. Sydney is so cute with her corndog arms and pale white skin in the creases of her fat. Hayley's cuteness while still being so sad. Winston making us late and his roundabout shortcut to church. Kukje market and bi-bi-bik. Shopping for more flowers. Doing something that I vowed I'd never do again. Seeing Andy as he was walking down Piedmont and thrusting Jane's graduation gift to him. Making Sharon turn back. Sigh. Andy's reception. Ester's melodious voice. Alex tuning out on me before I got to finish my explanation of baklava. The cute Chon family with especially cute parents.

"And what do we find in the Bible?"
"Jesus!"-Madison.

I decided that I need a husband with pimples on his back. Not so much that when I run my fingers down his back, all I feel are variegated bumps, but enough so that his back is nicely speckled with them. Then I can pop them to my heart's content. I like popping pimples. It's like bubble wrap. I like to pop bubble wrap. It makes me happy.

I had faith even when everyone said he was weak and too inconsistent a player.
Derek Fisher makes me so happy. =]

How appropriate would foam hands have been tonight?? Drat.


My venting homie: le francais est un langue romantique

Hahaha. What a way to get the ladies.

Calvin and Hobbes is so great. =]

It's ironic that one of the few people who truly know what I'm feeling these days happen to be halfway around the world.

It's late. My heart is heavy, and my body, exhausted.

I had a good talk with a friend today. It's ironic because this friend is going through some of the very same questions and struggles that I myself went through earlier this semester and throughout the year. I wish we could have experienced some of this together, because I know we could have helped one another to be strong. I was struck again by how my life is riddled with so much irony. But I pray that whatever may happen will not result in the same hurt and distress that I had to endure.


"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking as He did this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him Forever in the next."
-Reinhold Neibuhr.

I like the acoustic guitar.

Blogger just changed everything with "a new look, new features, new templates, and that new Blogger smell." I'm sad. I never even adequately learned how to operate the first one, and this one suddenly appears out of nowhere.


"And you can open it and stuff." I need to learn to be more articulate. This reminds me of another insightful comment I made about children actors: "But as they get littler and littler, they get smarter and smarter." I disgust myself sometimes.


At the EM bbq, I witnessed the best moment between Pastor Eugene, Hailey, and Nicole. It made me so happy I openly kept staring while trying to inconspicuously take pictures of them. I really hope no one noticed.


Eating watermelon makes me happy.

Eating such bad fatty foods my heart literally aches. This is what Roy's heart must feel like all the time. =[

One of the longest days ever, but filled with beautiful weather. Finding the best baby card and the cutest baby blanket. 4th street is my new haven. It's funny how things work out, no matter how much try to plan and anticipate beforehand. That's always a pleasant surprise.

I had a very lengthy 3 hour talk with Andy tonight. It was long, but it was for the first time since this past semester began. It felt so good to lay everything out in the open as it should be and to be honest with each other. Andy Chon and I seriously have the worst communication with one another. Ironic, because he knows the way I think and behave and I, sometimes him. Yet everything always works out in the end and for that, I am very thankful.

Have you ever been so frustrated that you can't just help but cry? Why must people think so negatively of you without first finding out the truth?

preppykc: hey i have a question to ask you
preppykc: why do you front like you never have any idea what's goin on?
preppykc: hahah
preppykc: you're much more insightful than you give yourself credit

You bastard. I take it back.

I appreciate people who keep it real. Thanks Kevin. =]

I absolutely adore my small group girls and the time that we've spent together. No one really knows how difficult and draining this semester has been for me, but it honestly all fades away every Thursday night when we meet together. How are you supposed to say goodbye to something like this? It seems impossible.


On a lighter note, I discovered another characteristic that my future hubby will have. Yes, you read that right. I refuse to budge on this one.

A yellow rose. Making Victor be my photographer. I didn't realize how much I'm going to miss all "my boys." Damn. It really is the end.


John's own "Rock Climber." Thanks for buying it for me. =]

A nice man let me cut in front of him while in line at Costco. He was wearing one of the fattest gold chains I've ever seen.


I made the mistake of telling Sewon and Kristy one of my most traumatizing childhood experiences. It's something that's scarred me for life and all they did was laugh at me. That made me very sad.

Why are guys such selfish dicks? Is this an innate trait that every guy is born with? Or is this something that is learned in conjunction with his secondary education? How to be a Dick 101.

I impart my words of wisdom:
Guys, if you like the girl, treat her with the same care and respect you would treat your mother.
Girls, no matter how rosy the world may be looking at the moment, everything in this world is temporary. Listen to your friends and family.




.:Let's press on, live simply, love God, and love others. Everything else will come. No worries, girl. Thanks for the update:.

I've been spending more time talking with my sister these days. That's always a good thing.

KSA culture show with PK and Ken Oak. Pat bing soo party at my place and watching Ken's band pore over one extra-large bowl of bing soo. Stefon Taylor is one of the nicest people I've ever met.

"If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship, we must love our friends for their sakes rather than for our own." -Charlotte Bronte.


Watching the sister gingerly step around the upper bunk bed in order to search for her book while trying her best to not wake Alice, who is contentedly sleeping in it. Alice looks happy even while she sleeps. =]

I don't like selfish people. I understand that we are all inherently selfish brats, but I'm sick of people who are flagrant selfish brats who continually make their lives take precedence over everyone else's.

Shopping with Janet, Jane and Nancy. Janet's good story. All guys are dicks. Crankiness over food deprivation being resolved by Panda Express and a root beer float. To be so emotionally and psychologically attached to food that it makes us cry or makes us extremely extremely happy. To not care about certain supposed friends any longer. Jane was French Club VP. A skirt that only I think is too short. Betsy Johnson dresses are fun and cute. Janet's teal panties. Dragging the girls to help me find tops. Nancy's favorite brown halter she kept advocating for. Genova Delicatessen. The Last Ficb. A resolution to no longer waste time.

Being sick of the same boys. No one cares about them anymore. The Porno Palace renovated with Korean movie posters. New secrets and oaths. Not having laughed so hard in such a long time. Laughing until the point of a throbbing headache, sore cheeks, and tears. Hannah's convenient recorder. Hannah's heartfelt prayer: "Thank you for this happy moment." A scary, weird, and confusing movie. Judy and Sewon being the only ones watching the scary parts.

A night for sure I'll never forget for as long as I live.

Elvin Jones Jazz Machine was AMAZING.
That's all. Words are paltry. It was music such as I have never heard before.

Elvin Jones: drums
Sherman Irby: alto saxophone
Mark Shim: tenor saxophone
Carlos McKinney: piano
Gerald Cannon: bass

"If you can't live without him, then you can't live with him."

I can't even begin to describe how much I'm going to miss nursery. Sigh. It's slowly starting to dawn on me that this is the beginning of the end.

One of the many highlights from dinner: Andy being nervous about being the only guy, finding temporary relief that Kook was there to balance out the estrogen, and then having that relief snatched away when Kook joined in the Andy-bashing and bluntly told us he thought Andy was "secretly gay."



J0hn: STUDY
J0hn: would it be funny if i had a sn named "Hanah-neem"
J0hn: and then i said, study jayne

I spoke of Calvin's lucky red rocketship underpants and Sam called me kinky.

I didn't know that tightie-whities were available in leopard or zebra-print, or that they could be made out of silk.


As Eugene Shin put so eloquently, today I got "nailed in the ass."

preppykc: i think you've matured a lot
jAhNdEe: me personally?
preppykc: weren't you kind of a superficial punk your first year?
preppykc: hahaha
jAhNdEe: ...
preppykc: at least that's the impression i got
jAhNdEe: hahaha
preppykc: when i first met you
jAhNdEe: that one day?
preppykc: yea
jAhNdEe: when i met you in teh dor,ms?
preppykc: and just all your stories

Finally doing something that I've wanted to do for the past four years.


"Andy Oppa." Listening with a different ear. A good talk with Ms. Scratchy. =]

Seabiscuit. =D Wanting to sleep once without hearing wretched little birds chirp. Delirious laughter and wheezing. Bagel bites and cookies 'n cream ice cream.

Calvin just walked me home right now. Well, after a weak and futile attempt to refuse to let him, he did. That was weird, but nice.

I've been spending my entire week in the computing center. Calvin and I joked about how we come into the center when it's light and leave when it's starting to get light again. What struck me tonight was the fact that I haven't been too lonely spending all this time by myself. My co-workers have been really great, asking me how I've been holding up, checking up on my progress every day, and Monica, my boss-lady, giving me extra munchies for sustenance. I haven't spoken with anyone who I normally speak with in a week and a half or so, but I've gotten to know my co-workers even better. I've had some great talks with them, and I realize just how much I'm going to miss them. For example, Calvin and John: relationships and going on "dates" vs. just hanging out; Kevin: about the difference between Iowa and California and how there is no racism in Iowa because everyone's only one race. I'm on one end of the spectrum in regards to culture schock while he's on the other; Calvin: music, music, music.

I listened to the same 2 songs for about 35 hours until Calvin was generous enough to let me borrow some of his songs. Thanks, Calvin. =]

My days have also become much simpler, spending 4-5 hours sleeping, 1 hour showering and getting ready, 1 hour for eating, and 16-17 hours for the center. I find that I enjoy simple days.


He always, always provides.

The Big C. One patch of sunshine hitting the water. Kevin's accurate weather predictions thus resulting in RAIN. =]

Pocket Rockets or Rocket Pockets? Befriending strangers while playing Hold Em. "I like your scales." Pills that make me act like I'm on "crack." Frozen apples, pears, and oranges. But especially icy orange slices. Realizing how much I'm going to miss these sessions next year.

"Fine Jayne, cuz you're my sugar momma."
"Did you just say sugar momma??"
"Yeah. You can be my sugar momma."
"Go away. I don't want to be your sugar momma."

Hold Em and Westcoast's chicken tomato pizza. Praise songs at 5 in the morning. Having 3 out of 4 requested songs played.

"Whenever I'm feelin' low
I call Your name (it lifts me up)
No other words feel the same
I call Your name
I call out Your name

I stopped runnin'
I stopped hidin'
'Cause now I know it was meant to be
Love so strong
Brings me to my knees"
-Clay Crosse, I Call Your Name.

And when it seems like you've hit rock bottom, all of a sudden, it doesn't seem so bad. Thanks, boys. =]

This is how rotten a person I am.

I've been stealing rolls of toilet paper from work for the past few days. Since my sister and I use about a roll every 1.5 days, I've already been forced to steal three rolls so far. Yet I perform this illegal activity with absolutely no qualms or misgivings.

jAhNdEe: gimme some inspiration
preppykc: UHm
preppykc: STUDY HARD!
jAhNdEe: ...
jAhNdEe: thanks buddy
jAhNdEe: hahhaa
preppykc: how about...
preppykc: if you STUDY hard
preppykc: you'll find a nice boy to date
preppykc: and his name will either be [blank]
preppykc: or [blank]
preppykc: hahah
preppykc: isn't that inspiring?

At work there are two bathrooms that we use. They are located in front of the elevators of Deustch Hall so that anyone who lives in the hall has access to the bathrooms.

For about a week now, one of the bathroom doors has been broken so there's only been one available. This means that all the revolting squalid hygienics of feshmen boys and girls are concentrated on only one toilet.

I had one of the most miserable urinating experiences yesterday. I went inside the bathroom, and saw that on the right side of the toilet, there was a little conglomerate pile of pubies gathered on the ground and a couple straggly ones on the seat. They were curly and light brown. I was so sad that I needed to pee. And while I was gingerly perched upon that toilet seat wrapped in three toilet seat covers, all I could do was stare at that pile and wonder what the hell the guy must have been doing to himself to accumulate that mass of pubic hair on the ground.

I realized today it was my turn to assuage any fears or doubts about small group leading. Even now I often feel like I'm at the beginning again.

Good Friday service: To taste the sweet water even amongst times of bitterness.

I like Stanford people a lot, especially the girls. I have absolutely no regrets in coming out tonight.

Speaking with various people today, I couldn't help but be jealous while listening to their struggles and dilemmas: deciding what prestigious law school to accept, debating between two Ivy League grad schools, etc. etc. And while people were sharing with me, I kept thinking to myself: "This is what you have to deal with right now? These are your worries and concerns??" Sigh. Then I would tell myself: "Shut the hell up. You know that if you were in their positions right now, you would realize how important and life-changing these struggles really are." I realized how spiteful and selfish a person I really am.

Theo from Stanford tells Jo, his younger sister, that he loves her before ending a conversation with her. When asked why he does that, he simply replied: "It's important."

"You can tell a lot about a guy or a girl if they have more friends of the opposite sex than they have of the same sex."

A wonderful heart-to-heart. It's comforting knowing that you aren't alone in seeing another side of someone that few people rarely ever see.

Fruit of the Spirit with little flock. I don't know how I ended up with so many orange slices.

Another blessing I'm thankful for: Little flock and for our transparency and honesty. =]

I was forced to buy printing pages at the library for the very first time in my college career today. And to my utter dismay, I used up every single cent within the hour.

"telling someone the truth is an act of love
forgiveness is an attribute of strength..."

What is it about popping a pimple and seeing all the pus gush out that makes it such a cathartic pastime?

Sometimes, there just aren't enough pimples.


Small group: n. One of the best things I've ever had in my life.

Senior Retreat came and went in a blur. I have much to say on it, but most likely it won't be an enjoyable read, so I decided to keep it to myself for now.




Actions always speak louder than empty words.

Rain, exactly how I need it.

Quitting work just to make it to my graduation. Knowing best what type of guy suits me. Extra condensed milk. Saving the last strawberries for me because I need the good-luck charm the most. Stupid guys and girls who act stupider because of them.

Today was one of the worser days of my life... it seemed like everything I did was completely wrong. Even though I was able to finish all the errands I needed to do, the way in which they were accomplished were in the most unsatisfactory manners possible.

I also ran into a glass door today. Luckily, I turned my head at the very last second when I realized it was glass, so I hit the door with the side of my face rather than center head-on. Unfortunately, I hit the door so hard the entire building shook, and the man inside the liquor store came out to glare at me. I walked away, stunned and disoriented, with the mocking sound of the glass rattling against the panes ringing in my head.

"Do you have any questions?"
"Yes, I am a Christian."

We celebrated my ���ҸӴ�'s 84th birthday today. In the midst of the conversation, we were talking about how my uncle has a friend in Ireland who he wanted to visit.

Uncle: "Where's Island?"
Susan: "What?"
Uncle: "Island. My friend wants me to visit him there."
Susan: "What?"
��: "Island. You know, Happy St. Patrick's Day."
Me and Susan: "Ireland?"
Uncle and ��: "Island."
Me: "I-r-e-land."
��: "I-r-e-land. Island. All Koreans call it Island."
Susan: "That's wrong."
�� (laughing hysterically): "Ireland. Island. It doesn't matter. As long as we can understand each other."

Koreans are hilarious. It was fun hearing humiliating stories from our childhoods. Apparently, my sister had difficulty controlling her bladder, and thus no one wanted to be next to her for fear that she'd pee on them. She also had yet to learn to speak properly, so she refused to speak to my ���ҸӴ� during the entire 2 months we were visiting Korea.

What is it about Korean parents and their rash decisions?

Andy Chon once told me how his dad randomly went out one day and returned home with a Kia. I remember laughing and thinking to myself how fortunate I was that my parents would never act so thoughtlessly and foolhardy.

My sister and I came home to find a new 2004 silver Camry chilling in our garage. Sigh. Such impulsive expenditures.

"You must increase, I must decrease Lord; I'll bow down and You will be adored." -Matt Redman, "You Must Increase."


To witness one completely imbued with passion and love for our Lord is very blessing and rebuking.


A voice filled with excitement and joy can make all the difference in the world.


It's slowly sinking in. The question now is, what am I going to do about it?


I wish I could make the ugly people in my life disappear.

"You have such an ugly head." =[

Popsicles. The SeaBreeze Restaurant and their soup in a bread bowl. A white heron crane, leading the way. THE most amazing view of the Pier. A black perch. Christopher's Nothing Fancy Cafe. Being treated out because that never happens anymore. Convoluted side streets. A very liberating conversation.

Ms. Nancy Kim. Spenger's and two complimentary chocolate bags filled with mango mousse and fresh berries. NRB with fun, fun people. Watching old Ficb videos, Billy's 12 days of Christmas, talking about our class, listening to Anica's two current favorite songs, and talking about politics and how we as Christians try to balance our culture and beliefs with the rest of the world's.

"I'd rather eat dog food or a dog biscuit than eat pho." -Roy Chung.

The next time Roy loses while playing poker, he willingly promised to eat dog food. Rather than pho. Imagine that.

"my whole take on friendships now is... f*ck it, watever comes watever goes."

2 hours turned into an 8-hour cooking party. Eating a whole half gallon of the lime sherbet needed for drinks, and then wanting more. Shrek, Big Momma's House, and Big Daddy. I don't think Wonnie and I are that similar. Kwansoo's under-the-breath comment about "��¥" and as always, being the only one to hear it. Dennis' ability to tie his hair into a ponytail. The funnest puppet ever. Fred's manly sweater. A huge scoop of yummy raspberry pineapple swirl sherbet. Starsky and Hutch's random appearance by Will Ferrell. "Do it." Playing Blackjack with an invisible dealer. Learning how to play Hold Em, and for once, Billy Ku being scared of me.

"If they don't see how much of a good friend I am to them, then it's just not worth it."

Yes.

A Safeway trip at 2am reveals the different lifestyles college guys and girls lead:

Guy's basket: Frozen pizzas, frozen Banquet meals, spaghetti sauce, pasta, and soda.

Girl's basket: Green leafy spinach, celery, yogurt, bananas, and grapes.

"A long time friend has come back to you." -Fortune cookie at Orchid's. =]

Bathing in the sun... just for you.

"it sounds so cheesy, but the main reason i feel we get apathetic is the whole forgetting our first love."

Today I vowed to no longer be friends with Kwansoo Jun, Carolina Park, Kristy Cho, and Roy Chung.

"The hardest part is letting go..."


One good thing about this ridiculously hot weather is the popsicles. =D

Being unable to fully appreciate a bowl of pho is a very sad experience for me.

It's hot when a guy can unabashedly cry and not feel the need to hide his emotions. I respect that tremendously.

Among Slum's top things to do with his future wife: Make ���� with her and talk all night, wash the dishes together, and slow dance together in their living room. Dang... lucky, lucky little wife.

And just because I want to tie my hubby's tie for him every morning, have the occasional pillowfight, and wash our cars together, does not mean that I am a crazy killer.

Four yellow Gerbera Daisies that brightened up my entire day.

"=) God smiles in the strangest ways."

Song #12.

"You're such a �ٺ� I bet you'd show off the umbrella you stole from me to me, huh?"


A very open and honest conversation.

b o y 52: its raining

Auto response from me: it's starting to rain. =T

b o y 52: =)
b o y 52: why the "=T" face????
b o y 52: are you betraying rain???
b o y 52: you shekki

To many these comments may seem absolutely ludicrous, but I actually felt a twinge of guilt.

It's raining. =]

I've been in a bit of a slump these past few days. It sure didn't help that the ending for õ���� ��� was one the most emotional ones I have ever seen.

Kristy is right. Last night was one of the most memorable nights I ever had. Four girls bawling their eyes out with Ms. Kristy Cho observing how each one of us cry is a pretty funny sight.

However, waking up the next morning with the repercussion of having no �ֲ�Ǯ is an absolutely horrendous sight.

Thunder, lightning, and lots of rain.


What I wouldn't give to be at the beach right now...

1. I won medium french fries from Jack in the Box. As one leading a life riddled with irony and hard-pressed luck, this is pretty darn impressive.

2. Sewon, Kristy, and I saw this huge rainbow in the sky walking from the Walgreens parking lot to church.

3. I saw Kwansoo Jun for the very first time on campus. It has been 3.67 years.

4. Janet made a very keen observation on a particular person's recent wardrobe change.

5. These "study sessions" with John are becoming increasingly very unproductive.

6. I was sad because it was extremely windy while coming home right now. But then in the midst of all that wind, it started to RAIN.

Breakfast at Rick and Ann's. Roses. Strawberry muffins. A really good onion bagel with strawberry jam and cream cheese.

Small group night recap: Dinner at the DC. Janet's place: Flan, banana pudding, chicken salad, ritz air crisps, celery and peanut butter. "An island of flan surrounded by a sea of caramel." Ding: Janet-bag and Sula-pus, Moon needing to win, "Pusi." The Dirty Mind game, and Moon thinking that it was appropriate to play it during SGN. Scattergories. Bridget Jone's Diary. Berkeley Iceland. Janet, Alice, Julie playing the trivia game where the point of the game is to make the score go up. Kwansoo's nice and slow Christian music. Inner-thigh exercises on the ice. Ellen, Moon, and me being the only three girls left.

The day after it rains is always the best. The North Reading Room. Red tortilla chips. A humiliating berating for taking too much salsa and too many chips. Scooby-Doo Pop Tarts. Good news, especially nowadays, is always something to be thankful for.


The view from my new and secret place. Beautiful, isn't it? =]

Quote of the day: "He's not clever. Only stupid things come out of his mouth."


"Studying" with John. Blackjack talk. Tent-sized umbrellas. A new definition for being "useless." John's huge golf-sized umbrella and the rain pouring and pouring, just for me. =]


"Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet." -Roger Miller.

More rain quotes: =D

"I am sure it is a great mistake always to know enough to go in when it rains. One may keep snug and dry by such knowledge, but one misses a world of loveliness." -Adeline Knapp.

"I believe in rain though there are no clouds in the sky." -Author Unknown.

"Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain." -Author Unknown.


"I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again.

Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face.

Dancin' in the rain
I'm happy again.
I'm singin' and dancin' in the rain."
-Gene Kelly, Singin' in the Rain.


=]

"True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable." -Dave Tyson Gentry.

"Court blocks Cooper's execution
Appeals panel grants a stay -- murder evidence to be tested"
[click and read]


"For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! ... For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds..." -2 Corinthians 7:11, 10:4.

=]

How to ascertain the will of God:

"I seek at the beginning to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter.

Nine-tenths of the trouble with people is just here. Nine-tenths of the difficulties are overcome when our hearts are ready to do the Lord's will, whatever it may be. When one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what His will is." -George Muller.

An incredibly starry night.

Praying now that it won't dissolve...

"God is more interested in making us what He wants us to be than giving us what we think we ought to have. "


"Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines." -Satchel Paige.

Discussing penmanship and drawing caricatures. Witnessing a random act of kindness. The Life of David Gale. Mr. Luther Vandross.

"so the clouds asked me what troubled my heart...

and the moon observed that my dream had dissipated...

and the stars screamed at me that peace shall come...

and so i slowly turned to them and quietly whispered... nevermore..."

"Just let me say how much I love You
Let me speak of Your mercy and grace
Just let me live in a shadow of Your beauty
Let me see You face to face

And the earth will shake as Your Word goes forth
And the heavens will tremble and fall
But let me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Just let me hear Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your spirit's flame

Let me find You in the desert
Till this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrendered
To You my Lord and Friend

So let me say how much I love You
With all my heart I long for You
For I am caught in this passion of knowing
This endless love I've found in You

And the depth of grace, the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God
Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend."

-"Just Let Me Say" Hillsongs.

"When we take a bigger view of things, God will give us more grace and love for others. We'll find ourselves responding to the needs and to the goodness; we'll find ourselves angered by the injustice to others." -Rich Mullins, Remember to Forget Yourself.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." -1 Corinthians 13:13.

"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving." -Mother Teresa.

I've been thinking lately about what true love must really entail and if I am capable of such a love.

...

And what is it about boys trying so hard with baby's breath, tissue paper, and red carnations that makes them so endearing?

"How else but through a broken heart may Lord Christ enter in?" -Oscar Wilde.

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." -1 John 4:16.


"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant." -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I was rebuked tonight in a way that I could have never imagined.


"This however is just one side of the story, and now I have opened my eyes and my heart to the truth, and because I have now done this I must now admit as well as acknowledge that despite all of these negative things, I am a very blessed man." -Kevin Cooper, "I Now Acknowledge."


How easily and willingly we forget...

"What? You don't think Andy's cute? Good-looking? Pretty? Handsome?"

"Umm, I think he looks like he's... aging."

"What a wonderful thing when you are so caught up in a moment when you are so lost in an experience that you forget to straighten your tie or to comb your hair. Why esteem yourself? Forget yourself. You'll have a lot more fun."
-Rich Mullins

Even though I can't change the world, I can always change my world.

Sometimes it's too difficult to encapsulate everything that you feel about a particular moment and to try to articulate that feeling into words. And during those times, I believe that it's better to just feel and bask in the sheer existence of the moment.


"The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it." -Carl Jung.

10 things to be happy about:

1. A walk at twilight.
2. Happy, rumbling furnaces.
3. Watching a heated card game.
4. Starting a brand-new book.
5. Hiking a steep trail.
6. Warm pockets for cold hands.
7. Appreciating music.
8. Cheering yourself up.
9. Comfortable new boots.
10. Postcards from foreign lands.

After much deliberation, I finally found the perfect location for my fat guy picture.

Where else would be more appropriate than on the refrigerator door?


Small group leader's retreat. Learning to use my strengths and to do all that I can with what I have control over.

A passport today for the first time ever. Never having so much stuff in the car before. A quick ride with some good company. =]

Gene Kelly is amazing. How can one movie make you feel so happy inside?

A delicious brunch. A family event. Coffee Lovers' from Coldstones. A burst of laughter from the mother at the "Good, God" comment.

I guess I was proven wrong tonight. =]

"and why is your typing so unlike the way you talk? its like you're an englishperson writing in your journals in the 1800s about your experience with the native peoples."

Hahaha.

...

I believe that karma has led me to make my decision in pursuing my long-neglected interest in basketball. Here are my notes from tonight's game:

The Lakers always lose whenever I watch one of their games. I like Derek Fisher and his hairband. Luke Walton looks like a curly-haired Ben Affleck and although he tries very hard, he can't shoot very well. Mike Bibby looks like Dr. Evil's Mini-me. The Sacramento Kings, and not the Lakers, are #1 in the Pacific chunk of the national conference.

I also cannot wait to finally get my long-awaited foam hands. =]

Quality time spent with the mother over Dae Jang Kum. Maruki 98 cents store. Tuxie sprawling his body over ours. =]

Being called "Butterball" without the implication of being a fat piece of lard. "Bbah dah ball". A monkey-face, covered by go-goo-mah ash.

The male Jang Kum who cooks dinner for his family. =D I love my dad's throwing together all the leftovers and dousing it with cham gee rum and calling it delicious cuisine.

Some old faces at OMC: Arem, James, William, Paul. Beloved Thai BBQ: L2, Chicken pad see-ew, Pad Thai. The hunt for ice cream near the Burbank AMC theaters. In America. Eli's sexy 'do.


"Oh gaze of love so melt my pride
That I may in Your house but kneel
And in my brokenness to cry
Spring worship unto Thee."
-Hymn, Jars of Clay.

"Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings." -William Arthur Ward.

There were only a couple of things that I wished for while I was here in New York, and both of them came true.


Here's one of them:

Esther and I were coming out of Century 21 when we got caught in a little snow flurry. =D